Tag Archives: purpose

Turning the corner or being complacent in 2019

happy new year decorative plate
Photo by JESHOOTS.com on Pexels.com

 

Today is the start of another year. It is a time to reflect, reorganize, and decide how to approach the new year. It feels like spring time in a way because you get that warm and fuzzy feeling all over again. What ever happened in 2018 doesn’t matter anymore because it is 2019, and there is time to make yourself a better you.

I am excited about this year because we have two big goals set in place. We have a plan, and it is in motion. On a personal level, I want to be healthy and continue to move forward professionally. Each day brings a new opportunity to improve yourself. Take advantage of the new year and do not get in a rut. One of the biggest things a see people do, and I am guilty of it myself, is we start out full steam ahead, then about three months into it, we fall back into the old habits because it is easy. Set realistic goals. Make them tough enough so you must work for them in order to be successful. Do not let anything get in your way. The only thing stopping you is you.

Another problem I see is people not able to let go of the past or get so caught up in the moment that they lose focus on the goals they have set. The past is the past for a reason. You cannot and will never be that person again so move on. Do not let distractions deter you any longer. Build the future with the same passion you have with trying to hold on to the past. You will have those memories forever and they will never be replaced. Remember you are building new memories, and you may miss out if you are so blinded by the past.

Road bumps, they are going to happen. Deal with it, get over it, and move forward. I had one three days ago, and I saw it as a huge roadblock before we even got started on the goals we set. We made a compromise, and we put stipulations in place. Now it is a win-win situation for everyone.

Finally, you own everything you do or do not do. Remember one of Jocko’s best quotes, “Discipline equals freedom.” Happy New Year and good luck.

 

 


New Years Resolutions, Are They Unrealistic?

One of the great things about the New Year for most people is that it brings about a fresh start. Many people want to get into better shape physically or financially. Maybe it is to be a better spouse, or to hold yourself more accountable. Whatever your motivation, do not lose sight of accomplishing your goals.

It could be argued that resolutions are unrealistic. Look at any gym for instance. The first three months are the best time for gym owners because they will have such a huge influx of new memberships. Come March, most have lost their direction and given up. Maybe it is because of a bad diet, stress, work, or boredom.

The key is to set your goals for the year. Instead of resolutions, make them goals. They need to be tough enough for you to work at them, but not easy enough for you to barely do anything to accomplish them. If you have a significant other, do them together. It is nice to have someone who will hold you accountable. Plus, you are aligning your relationship and making it stronger. My wife and I did it this weekend, and it was awesome to see we were thinking along the same lines.

Next, build a plan. Use the SMART method. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. I like to use mind mapping as well, to make sure I am visualizing things the way I need to, to accomplish my goals. Do whatever works for you though. Write them down. No more than 10 a year. If you accomplish those 10, then make another list. If you write so many down early on, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Once you have the plan you want to follow, it is time to put it into action. Hold yourself accountable. At the same time, make sure there are consequences if you do not stay on track. My wife and I love to eat, (that is a huge problem, especially since she is a such a great cook!), but we have decided if we have a cheat meal before the end of the month, we will ruin our date nights by not having dinner out. This is enough motivation for us. Who wants to have a date night out on the town with no food?!!!!

Record. I cannot express enough how important it is to log everything each day. That way you can see what is working and what is not working. Seeing it is much better than trying to remember it. For example, why did I feel so much stronger on this day, than another day? Was it supplementation, breakfast, or pre-workout?

Finally, re-evaluate. Be flexible and constantly strive to improve. If you hit a wall, so be it. It doesn’t mean you are a failure. It means, you need to adjust. As Jocko Willink says, “some good will come from it.”

In the end, whatever the label you decide to use, write it down, plan it, put it into action, record it, and constantly re-evaluate.

I suggest you watch these videos. Things go bad for all of us. It is about perspective, and it can prevent you from reaching your goals. These are my favorite. The mind is a very powerful tool, so use it to your advantage.

As always, thank you.

Discipline- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbQh1ZPG5pc

Good- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8


The Simple Things

Stef sent me a picture tonight after she got her hair done. It was one of the most loving and beautiful pictures yet. I fell in love with her all over again. It is the simple things in life we seem to forget to appreciate. A touch on the shoulder, holding hands in the car, the way she gets undressed, the way she brushes her teeth, eats her food, her walk, when she drops gas bombs in the bed, or holding hands after feeding the animals to name a few. 

Dale Partridge believes men need to be men, not boys, step up and love your wives and always fall back in love with them every day. Let them know you adore them. 

In the end, simple really is not simple. They are the most complex, speechless,  and humbling things we encounter. Suck them up, breathe, and adore them. 

To the love of my life. Thank you for being the most strong and courageous woman I have ever known. Thank you for loving me. I will always take care of your heart. As always, I love you….


Controlling Relationships more thoughts..

Stef gave me some good feedback and I want to add to it. I always asked who, what, when, where, why, and how. I didn’t realize it was breaking her down emotionally and making her a miserable person. I never knew saying don’t do this or that was so bad. Most concerns are not really concerns because they are our own insecurities. 

I love her very much, and my actions reflect those changes I promised her. She is seeing a man on a mission everyday. I am finally her rock. She can count on me to love her the right way and take care of her and the family emotionally and financially. Thank you my love.


How To Deal With Feeling Overwhelmed.

Bill’s, relationships, kids, and work are just a few of the day to day issues each of us must face. It is easy to become overwhelmed. When we get frustrated we start to take that frustration out on everyone else, especially our loved ones. So what does it mean to be overwhelmed? Everyone’s tolerance level is different. Some can handle a few tasks a time, others only one. Add the stress of a new job or living pay check to paycheck, then every situation becomes a mountain.
TEAM- Together Everyone Accomplishes More.

-Ask for help. The people you are pushing away are the very ones who want to be by your side.

-Exercise. It will make you feel better, and help you clear your mind

-Turn to your spouse. They are your best friend. Bounce ideas off each other and constantly strive to support and speak to each other in a nurturing manner.

-Meditation. Sit, think, and relax. This will help you make sense of things and give you purpose in your actions.

-Remain focused.

-Make a list of pro’s and con’s. Have a friend or your spouse do the same, see what ideas you come up with and compare the list. You may end up having more in common that you thought, or a new idea is might be born.

-Get some rest.

-Make a list of things to get done then divide and conquer.  

In the end, if you have someone who loves you deeply and passionately, work together as a partnership and resolved the issues that are making you feel overwhelmed. There is no need to face things alone. “Teamwork makes the dream work”


When Your Spouse is having a Bad Day

There are those days that no matter what you do, you are going to be wrong. Let’s be honest, we all have had a bad day. You wake up grumpy and fussy, and no matter how well intended the actions of your spouse may be, you get more agitated. To make matters worse, we take them extremely personal, and it makes things even worse. It could be hormonal, insecurity, or just having a generally bad day.

 

Relationships are partnerships. You are committed to one another. You do not threaten one another, call names, or put each other down. Instead, you become the rock the other person needs. The most successful relationships have several common factors. Marissa Laliberte, author of 11 Signs You Can Trust Your Partner, believes you should be open and vulnerable. When you or your spouse are having a bad day, you just need to sit back and listen to them vent. No matter the topic, just listen. It seems as though active listening is a lost art form, and more couples are willing to give in and throw away their relationships.

 

Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference, believes being able to be honest and open about your feelings is one of the biggest signs you can trust one another. When a person is allowed to express their feelings and concerns without judgement and without being put down, it brings you closer as a couple. “Openness and vulnerability in conversation—their willingness to really open up their heart and share what they’re really thinking, even if it puts them at risk for ridicule and being criticized for you—that is a scary thing in a lot of relationships.” “There’s trust if they’re willing to talk about things, give you details, sometimes share additional details, and have no hesitations,” says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, co-author of Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls. Go out of your way to put them at ease because it shows you care enough about them to put them first. They are a priority to you, and it is a significant show of intimacy.

 

If it hormonal………………………. GOOD LUCK! Nothing, and I mean nothing you do is going to be right. Just suck it up, and go above and beyond. Just say yes dear, I love you, how can I make your day better.

 

Study your spouse every day. Learn what their expectations are, and what makes them happy and sad. Be careful how you articulate things. Admit when you are wrong. If you make a mistake, big or small, just admit to it. It shows you are responsible. Furthermore, it shows you are not afraid to let the other person in, and it goes a long way to show you are not lying and hiding things.

 

If insecurity is a reason, then you have to work together and really take the extra step and let them know how much you love them. When you are driving or when you are not able to check your phone, ask your significant other to answer it, or check to see if there are any messages. It goes to show they can trust you because you have nothing to hide. You could switch phones for a week or two. It will go a long way to develop trust.

 

In the end, just be sympathetic. When we have a bad day, we say things we really do not mean. No need to take it personal, just make sure you apologize, and tell them how much you love them. Just ride it out, and remember tomorrow is a new day. There are no excuses, so take responsibility for your actions. Do something sweet and romantic for them to show them you care. Run a bath, fix dinner, candles, soft music, leave little notes or flowers. It is the little things that mean the most.


Why Men Should Appreciate Their Other half……

 

You should appreciate your other half because:

 

-they put up with your mouth

-they take care of you when you are sick

-they are stronger than you

-if she is pregnant, she made a lung, heart, fingers, limbs…. And you…. Right, nothing!

-they cook

-they clean your clothes

-they listen to you complain when you are having a bad day.

-they are delicate inside and out, but can be as tough as barbed wire if needed.

-they keep us in line when are unable to do so

-they look more and more beautiful as each day passes

-they are understanding and compassionate

-they are kind

-they put things into perspective

-they love you even when you probably do not deserve it

-they take pride in the way they look

-they pour their heart and soul into the relationship

-they appreciate the small things

-they are nurturing

-they are passionate

-they are driven

-they are strong

This list doesn’t begin to scratch the surface as to why men should appreciate their other half, but it does show that woman are more well-rounded and mature than men. Thank you for all the hard work and dedication.

 

 


Why? / How?

Life is a tough road, so when it seems to be falling apart we tend to ask ourselves why me? There ups and down, personal challenges, adversity, family and professional issues, relationships, health concerns, and financial issues. Now add terminal illness, losing a job or loved one, and the weight can be too heavy for some.

There is a problem with asking why and how. On one hand, if you are like me, I seek answers through questions. I try to find understanding, direction, and resolution with these words. When things are going bad, I can usually find the cause or root of the situation by asking myself why or how. They provide a roadmap for what has happened. I am able to find clarity by tracing my foot steps and the events that led up to the current situation. On the other hand, it can be seen as a form of interrogation. I am a firm believer if you have nothing to hide, then these are simple questions. Others believe there is no need to ask questions if you fully trust the other person. Find the reassurance you need, and move forward by providing what the other needs respectfully. A solution produced by both people are equally rewarding.

How ands why can help you find direction and resolution as it prevents mistake from happening again. It narrows your focus and minimizes distractions that could lead you down that road again. I have probably made more mistakes than most during my life. When I asked myself why and how, I was able to change the behaviors rapidly. I finally understood what was going on and why. Moreover, I was able to finally be the man I always wanted to be. I didn’t blame anyone else for my misfortune. I took responsibility for my actions and made drastic changes. This occurred in two instances: improving the kind of person I was and financially.

What most people forget when things go bad is they usually could have prevented what just occurred. We can control most of the things in our lives, but we still make bad choices and bad decisions. We learn from our mistakes in most cases, but there is a small handful of people that continue the vicious cycle because they lack the motivation to change. You cannot dwell or beat yourself up about things you cannot control, i.e. loss of a loved one or terminal illness. This is easier said than done I know. I lost my Grandmother and my best friend within 3 months of each other.

In the end, why and how are powerful questions. They can provide you with options, understanding, and freedom. Do not use them as an interrogation tool, rather for understanding and clarity. You may need to reword what you are asking when talking to a loved one. Always seek to be better than the day before. Always seek to love better than the day before.


Mother’s Day Tribute

Tomorrow is a one of the most special days of the year, Mother’s Day. I would like to pay tribute to my mom and my better half.

 

Mom

I want to take this time to tell you how thankful I am you are my mother. You are an inspiration to me. I have always said if I could be a ¼ of the parent you have been to me, I would be a success. You worked three jobs to put me through school, you sacrificed more than any parent should have too, and you have been supportive my entire life.

You ask for nothing, expect nothing, and I often wonder why. As I have grown older what I have realized is what you have done the last 45 years wasn’t easy at all. While I have accomplished a lot of things in my life to make you proud of me, my greatest accomplishment didn’t occur until 10 plus months ago when I transformed from a boy to a man. Many people may laugh at that statement, but I never took responsibility or accountability for my actions outside of doing my job. I was selfish, and I didn’t appreciate the things in my life. YOU always stood firm in your beliefs, and you gave me words of encouragement when I was down. Though you may have judged me, you never let me know it. Instead, you helped me grow at my own pace, even though it took half a life time.

On this Mother’s Day I want you to know I love you. Thank you so much for all you have done for me my entire life. Thank you for the hard work and patience you have shown me. I know I am difficult, but I want you to know you are the best mom in the world. This day is for you and about you. I hope I have made you proud of me, and I hope you have the Happiest Mother’s Day to date.

 

My Beautiful Bride

Wow! You have shown me so much. This day is all about you. You continue to amaze me every day. I have grown to enjoy life because of the things you have shown me. I am so proud of you and the things you have accomplished in life. You are without a doubt the best woman this world has ever seen.

You are a survivalist in many aspects. From rich to poor and everything in between, you have made and continue to make sacrifices for the family. Your love and affection for us and life is something I could never put into words. I am the luckiest man in the world, and I never take one second, or one minute of my life with you for granted. Thank you for loving me, thank you for believing in me, thank you for your encouragement, thank you for your patience when I had none, but most importantly, thank you for all the sacrifices you have made and for showing me what life has to offer. You have shown me life is about family, and I will spend the rest of this life and the next showing you how much I love you. I will always take care of you and the kids.

You have raised the kids the best possible way you know how. I know at times you have doubts, put them aside, you are a great mother. You have went without food so they could eat, you have bought them clothes, while you get yourself nothing, and you have juggled bills, so they could have more. Sacrifice is what it’s all about. You are a shining example for other mothers around the globe. You set the standard and raise the bar. You love and cherish every ball game and car ride to school, and you make sure they are well fed and taken care of every day. It is not about money. Instead, it is about love and devotion. They will remember that longer than any vacation or shining new toy.

On this Mother’s Day… know this, I love you and everything about you. I will spend the rest of my life learning more about you and falling in love with you again and again. Take this day and relax, do nothing, and know that all your sacrifices were worth it. I love you.

In the end, Mother’s Day is a day for mothers. However, their tireless efforts continue every single day, sick or injured, they are ready for battle. No one messes with a mom because they are a bad-ass. No weapon, animal, or human will ever come between a mother and their children. Thank you for all you do every day moms, and thank you for holding your heads high, pushing forward, and proving to all of us, women are much more powerful then men will ever be. God Bless.

 

 


My Beautiful Bride

There is nothing more special or emotional to me than my beautiful bride. My fiancé and I have been through hell and back, but we are still together. We have both made mistakes, taken full responsibility for our actions, and we decided it was time to grow up and commit ourselves to each other. When we allowed ourselves to become vulnerable, fully committed, and unguarded, something happened. We started to fall in love with one another, and we never looked back. We are committed to our future together, and we see an amazing future with one another.

 

In a few months, I will be lucky enough to marry my best friend. I have come full circle, embracing family and cherishing every second I have with this incredible woman. I decided to write this article because of an article I read in which an elderly male continued to introduce his wife as his beautiful bride, even after the many years they had been married. I could actually see this man looking at his wife with the same intensity he did the first time he ever saw her. In other words, every day is like the first date in his mind. He falls in love with her over and over again long after the wedding, honeymoon, kids, grand kids, and great grand kids.

 

What I find most fascinating about the process of life is that we are constantly evolving individually and as a couple. Age and kids bring changes in our body and minds. People are all too quick to give up at the first sign of adversity. I have wasted a lot of years of my life no doubt. I know I will always be there for her when she having a bad day or good day, when she is sick or injured, when she needs support, loses a family member, or just needs reassurance that things will be alright.

 

You see, for those of you who do not believe in fairy tales, they do come true. It is all about giving your all every day. Looking year after year at the one person you are committed too and saying thank you for loving me and thank you for making me a better person. No matter what happens in this life or the next, I know my beautiful bride will always love me, and I know I will always be there for her as well. She deserves the best from me, and she will get nothing less than the best.

 

In the end, relationships take effort, so put in the work, reap the rewards, and love each other every minute and never look back.

 


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