Tag Archives: planning

Controlling Relationships more thoughts..

Stef gave me some good feedback and I want to add to it. I always asked who, what, when, where, why, and how. I didn’t realize it was breaking her down emotionally and making her a miserable person. I never knew saying don’t do this or that was so bad. Most concerns are not really concerns because they are our own insecurities. 

I love her very much, and my actions reflect those changes I promised her. She is seeing a man on a mission everyday. I am finally her rock. She can count on me to love her the right way and take care of her and the family emotionally and financially. Thank you my love.

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Fireproof

Yesterday showed me just how wrong I have been, when I thought I was actually right about everything. I genuinely thought in my mind I was doing everything, everyday the right way. I am faithful, loyal, committed, passionately in love with my bride, and I always do whatever I can for her in order to take the burden off her shoulders. Boy, was I wrong! Relationships take work, time, and commitment. Until you uncover the root cause of the issues you as an individual are facing, you will continue to have problems. I never thought I was the one who had problems. I just needed her to listen to my concerns. This was the wrong approach to take.

 

We watched Fireproof as a family. If you care at all about your marriage or your relationship, then it is a movie to watch. Moreover, there are online resources to utilize to help you in this journey. It is a very emotional process, and it makes you face tough issues, but is it the best thing out there for truly understanding how to love one another. It is for serious people who genuinely care about their significant other and their relationship. This is something you can do together, so throw your heart and soul into it, and never look back. I will always “study” her, and I will always do what I can every single day to show her how much I love her. The movie showed me that I never knew how to love myself, so how could I love her properly, if I couldn’t understand how to do so?

 

It is about faith and religion, and its application is geared towards whatever higher being you believe in. Additionally, I realized I cannot shoulder everything. I need guidance. While I thought I was doing everything in my power to meet her needs, I was failing in some aspects which were sensitive for us to discuss and probably the most important. Open and honest communication is necessary in any relationship, so put your pride aside, watch, actively listen, and put a plan into action together. This is a lifestyle change, not just a fix. You will see that both of you will reap the rewards by loving and growing with each other more than you ever thought possible.

 

As in all things I do, thank you for honey for loving me, being patient, and for all you do. This is for you and girls.


Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day has evolved since its original gathering at Plymouth Colony in 1621. This first feast involved turkey and pumpkin pie, shared by 53 Pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.   Originally, a festival harvest celebration for the harvest of the preceding year, it became a national holiday after George Washington’s proclamation in 1789, finally, becoming a federal holiday during the Civil War, authorized by Abraham Lincoln.

 

There are many people who wish to argue the true meaning of Thanksgiving and the ideology associated with it. However, there is one common theme no one can argue……..  giving thanks for whatever you deem appropriate.

 

This holiday season remember those who have made ultimate sacrifice for freedom. Politics aside, there is no greater honor in my opinion. Never take for granted the time you have been given because it is a gift others will not have in the next few seconds. Love your family and friends, tell them thank you for being in your life, and how much you appreciate them. This next year be a better you.

 

I want to leave you with a quotation from Tecumseh, a Native American Chief.  He talks about life, death, and giving thanks. I hope you will embrace his words, and live your life accordingly.

 

 

“So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a stranger if in a lonely place. Show respect to all people, but grovel to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself. Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools and robs them of their visions. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”
 

 


Team Work

From a professional standpoint, there is nothing more rewarding than team work. When every person knows how to do their job, and they work together with the precision of a watch to get the job done, it is impressive to see. Every moving part is important. It is effective and efficient, and each part depends on the other in order to work in harmony.

However, what I have seen time and time again is a lack of team work in most companies and governmental agencies. People are more concerned with back stabbing and working their way to the top, and it does not matter who they run over in the process. Gossiping, lying to your co-workers and subordinates, no accountability for personal actions on and off duty, lack of supervision, and out dated policy and procedures serve as the catalyst for these actions.

What is team work? It is the cumulation of ongoing training, repetitions, focus, dependability, loyalty, knowing how to do your job and the job of your team mates, and trust. Whether in battle or in life, you must be able to depend on the person to your left and to your right. You are only as good as your weakest link.

In an article titled, “Business Lessons Learned from a Day of Navy SEAL Training” by Sujan Patel, he provides several key lessons we can all take from Navy SEALs. These include:

Communication- It is important that each person takes the time to communicate. It is the only way to know what the other person is doing, and an open line of communication prevents ambiguity.

Trust- There has to be trust between all team members, without trust you can never be a cohesive unit. This is one of the most covenant things that Special Forces ingrain in their members. There is never a reason to lie or bend the truth because it means the others cannot trust you as a person or to get the job done.  There will always be doubt in the minds of those around you, and your word will mean nothing.

Mastery- Know your skills and the skills of those around you. When things go bad, make sure you know your job better than anyone else, and if you know the job of those around you, when someone gets knocked down or doesn’t come to work, you can fill in without losing efficiency. If you are lacking in one area or another, train, and train hard. Be a master of your craft.

Planning- 7 p’s. Proper prior planning prevents piss poor performance. “Hope for the best, and plan for the worst.” These are the words you should try to live by. When you are planning for something, take a step back, and look at the event or issue from a different perspective. What I like to do is have a co-worker look at the same set of circumstances and provide feedback. Maybe they were able to see something I wasn’t able to see. I want to have a contingency plan in place for any situation. Because when things go wrong, they usually go very wrong. This is where team work can have a huge impact. Each member should feel as though they have had a say in the planning process.

Be Tough- Life is hard, suck it up. When ever you get hit in the face by life, deal with it. It is not going to be easy, but you must have the will to push forward. Never freaking quit. If you do not get anything else from this post, do not quit. However, poor team work makes things harder, so step up when you need to do so. Be able to fill multiple roles as both a leader and follower.

Life is Good- remember, it can always be worse. No matter your situation, there are people in the world who have it much worse than you do. Try to display a good attitude and be positive even in the face of adversity.

In the end, team work is the back bone of any organization. There will always be those who complain, but the most successful organizations and teams, weed out those who cannot be team players. They have a zero tolerance for these types of people. Instead of complaining, help those who need it. Lead by example, show support for your coworkers. If all else fails, at least you did everything you could do to make the team better.


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