Tag Archives: loyalty

A little white lie is still a lie…… it hurts.

So… I screwed up. My wife and I are trying to have a baby, and I had to get some testing done at the Urologist. Now as you know, I love my wife dearly, she is my world, and I would never hurt her on purpose. Well, I f#%k#% up. I paid $250 for my initial fertility consult and couldn’t afford the lab work because it costs so much. At that moment I did not have insurance to pay for it. She asked about it and I told her they took blood when they didn’t.

This week my insurance kicks in and for my second visit all fertility lab work will be done. Hopefully they will have the results before the appointment. I have to go by and pick up a kit.

I would never cheat on my wife as I love her and the kids more than my own life. I have not been dishonest about anything and I am very proud of that fact. This tiny white lie is still a lie no less. It hurt her a lot. I know I messed up, but I did it bc I was ashamed I couldn’t afford the test until I had my insurance. This baby means so much to us both and I just wanted to do more than I could. We have been trying for a few months. My heart was in the right place but the actions were wrong. I admitted to it and accepted responsibility for it. I only hope she will see what I was trying to do.

So my point is this, no matter how insignificant it may be, or how embarrassed you might be, there is never a reason to tell the smallest of lies. Always, always be honest. Lesson learned.

As always, to my wife and kids, I love you. I made a huge error in judgement. I was an idiot, now the world knows as well. Thank you for making me better.

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The Simple Things

Stef sent me a picture tonight after she got her hair done. It was one of the most loving and beautiful pictures yet. I fell in love with her all over again. It is the simple things in life we seem to forget to appreciate. A touch on the shoulder, holding hands in the car, the way she gets undressed, the way she brushes her teeth, eats her food, her walk, when she drops gas bombs in the bed, or holding hands after feeding the animals to name a few. 

Dale Partridge believes men need to be men, not boys, step up and love your wives and always fall back in love with them every day. Let them know you adore them. 

In the end, simple really is not simple. They are the most complex, speechless,  and humbling things we encounter. Suck them up, breathe, and adore them. 

To the love of my life. Thank you for being the most strong and courageous woman I have ever known. Thank you for loving me. I will always take care of your heart. As always, I love you….


Controlling Relationships more thoughts..

Stef gave me some good feedback and I want to add to it. I always asked who, what, when, where, why, and how. I didn’t realize it was breaking her down emotionally and making her a miserable person. I never knew saying don’t do this or that was so bad. Most concerns are not really concerns because they are our own insecurities. 

I love her very much, and my actions reflect those changes I promised her. She is seeing a man on a mission everyday. I am finally her rock. She can count on me to love her the right way and take care of her and the family emotionally and financially. Thank you my love.


Speechless……………………………..

This is one of those posts that directly relates to something personal. So, have you ever had one of those days in which nothing can go right? Well guess what…. It has been two days now, and the spiral continues downward.

 

The back story is this: Men, learn to pick and choose your battles. The more you try to fix it, the worse it gets. There is no winning. I found a quote that says, “A woman has the last word in an argument. Anything a man says after that is the start of a new argument.” The best advice I can give you is to walk away, and don’t keep running your mouth. It doesn’t just make things bad, it escalates from something you can talk about later to pure unadulterated hatred. It is like throwing a 5000 gallon tank of gasoline on a small camp fire….. i.e. BAD DECISION!!!!!!!!

 

In my case, there is no excuse. I just simply messed up. I kept on talking when I should have just walked away. Sometimes you just have to take the beating. There is nothing you can say or do. You are not going to be right, even when you are right. You can do everything perfect, and it doesn’t matter. In my case, I cleaned the house so she could just relax today. Did it help? Probably…..Instead, this morning I wanted to talk and that was just not acceptable (especially since it was her only day off this week). By our own natural instincts, men want to fix things, but when it comes to woman,  it takes time. Men have an off and on button. We can just let things go with in the next 10 minutes if we just talk about it. Women do not work that way at all. They will bring up anything and everything to hurt you because they are hurting at that moment. It doesn’t make it right, and most of it is said in emotion. Stef has told me on more than one occasion to just walk away.  You would think I learned my lesson.

 

In the end, just admit you are wrong, Lord knows I put two feet, a trunk, and a wheelbarrow in my mouth. Always talk with love and compassion about an issue that is bothering you. I have to admit, it is a tough line to walk. If I am wrong I have no issues apologizing. So guess what….. I am sorry for not using good judgement, common sense, and rational behavior. Instead, I used poor judgement, talked like an ape, and looked like a piece a crap.

 

I will leave you with a quote from Clifford Adams, “Silence is never more golden than when a quarrel is brewing.”

 

As always, thank you honey for loving me, being patient, and showing restraint. I am a better man because of you. I love you.

 

 

 

 

 


My Beautiful Bride

There is nothing more special or emotional to me than my beautiful bride. My fiancé and I have been through hell and back, but we are still together. We have both made mistakes, taken full responsibility for our actions, and we decided it was time to grow up and commit ourselves to each other. When we allowed ourselves to become vulnerable, fully committed, and unguarded, something happened. We started to fall in love with one another, and we never looked back. We are committed to our future together, and we see an amazing future with one another.

 

In a few months, I will be lucky enough to marry my best friend. I have come full circle, embracing family and cherishing every second I have with this incredible woman. I decided to write this article because of an article I read in which an elderly male continued to introduce his wife as his beautiful bride, even after the many years they had been married. I could actually see this man looking at his wife with the same intensity he did the first time he ever saw her. In other words, every day is like the first date in his mind. He falls in love with her over and over again long after the wedding, honeymoon, kids, grand kids, and great grand kids.

 

What I find most fascinating about the process of life is that we are constantly evolving individually and as a couple. Age and kids bring changes in our body and minds. People are all too quick to give up at the first sign of adversity. I have wasted a lot of years of my life no doubt. I know I will always be there for her when she having a bad day or good day, when she is sick or injured, when she needs support, loses a family member, or just needs reassurance that things will be alright.

 

You see, for those of you who do not believe in fairy tales, they do come true. It is all about giving your all every day. Looking year after year at the one person you are committed too and saying thank you for loving me and thank you for making me a better person. No matter what happens in this life or the next, I know my beautiful bride will always love me, and I know I will always be there for her as well. She deserves the best from me, and she will get nothing less than the best.

 

In the end, relationships take effort, so put in the work, reap the rewards, and love each other every minute and never look back.

 


Do Not Shut Me Out!

Besides financial problems, the single biggest problem in relationships is the inability to communicate. The inability to speak to your significant other about your feelings, concerns, and emotions is a huge problem. Weather you ask any relationship or religious expert, examine online resources, or read any library or text books, they will tell you active listening is paramount in resolving any conflict. If something is bothering your significant other enough to mention it, then you should take the time to listen. It doesn’t matter if they have mentioned it hundred times, obviously something is making them feel that way and the issues need to be readdressed. However, these issues need to be actively resolved and not pushed to the side.

 

What ends up happening is that if it continues to not be resolved, it continues to build up until neither party can resolve the issue because the situation has switched gears from conflict resolution to one of personal attacks. It is the total lack of communication by both people that end up causing the cycle to continue. Why? Because they are so involved in their own emotions that they are unable to see outside their sphere. They become blinded, deaf, and in the end, shut each other out while trying to make things better.

 

While you might be thinking that listening is an easy thing to do, in actuality, it is the hardest thing for a person to do. Many of us, including myself, take things personal. It is NOT personal, it is NOT an attack, and it is one of the greatest gifts you can give someone. You must actually put things into action and not let things happen again. Do not shut the other person out when all they are trying to do is communicate with you in a respectful manner.

 

In the end, you chose each other. Be loving, understand, and kind. You only have each other, so take the time to resolve conflict the same way you love each other when things are wonderful. It will bring you closer together, create mutual happiness, and take the relationship to a whole new level.


Making the Most of Today

Today is a new day. The reset button has been hit just for you. No matter what the day before brought you, today is a fresh start. Today should bring you clarity, hope, and vision. Let go of yesterday, push forward, forgive one another, and love with all your heart. Holding on to the past brings resentment, anger in some cases, and negativity. Flip the switch, move forward and “live, laugh, and love” with the person in your life who will go through hell and back with you. In the end, they are the only one who truly loves you and whom you can trust. They are your rock.  Let them know how much you appreciate them,  and how much you love them.  It is a fresh start, a clean slate, so make the most of today and your life with them.


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