Tag Archives: life

First Day of Life

Today, Gryphon was introduced to the world. He was born at 4:50 a.m., weighing in at 7 pounds, 20 inches long, and perfect in every way possible. I am a very proud Dad to say the least. I also have two wonderful step daughters who play sports and excel in all they do. I love them to death, but there is something about having your own child. It is a sense of pride. I am a older father, as I will be 48 in December, but I am in great shape considering. I take care of myself because I want to be here for him and my family for many years to come.

My wife is the most incredible woman on the planet. She survived this entire process with minimal damage to her body. She is my support system and my best friend. I am truly amazed at who she is and all she has accomplished. As I watched Gryphon being born, I became overwhelmed with emotion. Do not get me wrong, I have loved this entire process, but to see this tiny human, who is a part of you and your significant other, it is a different kind of emotion. I am responsible for his success and failures. As I held him in my arms, I promised him I would not fail him, and I will always lead by example in all I do. Every parent has an obligation to their child to be the best example they can be.

What did I learn today: today is a new beginning not just for my child, but it is one for me as well. I want him to always know how much I love his mother, how much I love him, how to be responsible and respectful to others, and how to be humble. Just as my wife makes me a better person, this tiny human will do the same.

Funny things about today: I learned he has the same eye roll and sarcastic grimace as I do. When he took his first poop, well lets just say, I am glad we have a lot of wet wipes!

In the end, everyday is an opportunity, and it is up to you what you will do with it. Seize the day, learn something so you can be a better you and share it with others. Never take tomorrow for granted because you never know when it will be your last. Stop procrastinating, organize your life, put your significant first, and lead by example.


Think Before You Speak

Many times, it is easy to blurt out things without ever taking the time to think about what you are getting ready to say. When emotions fill the air, our inability to rationally think causes us to have diarrhea of the mouth. The words that follow makes us feel like a super hero for a few seconds as we deflect words from the other person that make us cringe. What we should realize is there are times when words of positivity and appreciation are the better route to take.

Arguing is nothing more than two people showing how ignorant they are to one another. Even when you know you are right, there is something about the whole process that is undeniably inept. Men tend to be worse at it than women, but it does work both ways.

As I sit here writing this piece, I cannot believe how many times I wasted my energy and time having an argument. Most of the time it is over something silly, but there are times I want my feelings to be heard. In contrast, some believe it is healthy to argue. I tend to agree if it builds trust in the relationship by allowing one another to completely express their thoughts and emotions without ridicule or put downs. When this occurs, the relationship grows, and it brings two people closer. The problem is that most relationships do not allow for this to occur.

In the end, whatever you decide, just make sure you argue in a manner that is beneficial to all parties involved. It is easy to let your emotions take over, stop listening, and throw out as many put downs as possible. That attitude and those actions are detrimental to the relationship. If you truly care, take the time to listen to one another, and engage in a conversation where you leave feeling like you accomplished something together.


Turning the corner or being complacent in 2019

happy new year decorative plate
Photo by JESHOOTS.com on Pexels.com

 

Today is the start of another year. It is a time to reflect, reorganize, and decide how to approach the new year. It feels like spring time in a way because you get that warm and fuzzy feeling all over again. What ever happened in 2018 doesn’t matter anymore because it is 2019, and there is time to make yourself a better you.

I am excited about this year because we have two big goals set in place. We have a plan, and it is in motion. On a personal level, I want to be healthy and continue to move forward professionally. Each day brings a new opportunity to improve yourself. Take advantage of the new year and do not get in a rut. One of the biggest things a see people do, and I am guilty of it myself, is we start out full steam ahead, then about three months into it, we fall back into the old habits because it is easy. Set realistic goals. Make them tough enough so you must work for them in order to be successful. Do not let anything get in your way. The only thing stopping you is you.

Another problem I see is people not able to let go of the past or get so caught up in the moment that they lose focus on the goals they have set. The past is the past for a reason. You cannot and will never be that person again so move on. Do not let distractions deter you any longer. Build the future with the same passion you have with trying to hold on to the past. You will have those memories forever and they will never be replaced. Remember you are building new memories, and you may miss out if you are so blinded by the past.

Road bumps, they are going to happen. Deal with it, get over it, and move forward. I had one three days ago, and I saw it as a huge roadblock before we even got started on the goals we set. We made a compromise, and we put stipulations in place. Now it is a win-win situation for everyone.

Finally, you own everything you do or do not do. Remember one of Jocko’s best quotes, “Discipline equals freedom.” Happy New Year and good luck.

 

 


The Reality of Death

No one knows when they will take their last breath, but when death comes it brings an outpour of mixed emotions. Some want it to be a celebration, but often, it comes when we least expect it. Many people are fortunate enough to live a lifetime of experiences, but there are many times when people are taken without the opportunity to say goodbye.

Grief is a fickle thing, especially when someone leaves this world much younger than they should, leaving families stricken with the lose of a loved one. I cannot imagine living without my wife. I know we are not immortal, but the pain of losing her is something I never want to experience.

My best friend was 39 years old when he died. He was the only person who truly understood me. He had a way of getting along with almost anyone he met, and he was a person who loved and fed off competition. So, I took his death very hard.

Today, my wife had to experience something similar. A mentor or hers died very young, leaving behind a wife and child. He was someone who took the time to look after his people. He and his wife went the extra mile, even when they didn’t have to do so. It makes it even harder when good people are taken to soon. He will be missed by many people.

I do not like seeing my wife in pain. It hurts me as it would anyone else who loves their spouse with all their heart. We all deal with death differently, but it is always hard to find the right words when someone dies. We must look back on the time we had, appreciate those experiences, and take the emotions and feelings back to our family. Death shows us just how fragile life really can be, and it reminds us to love more, show more patience, and embrace our family even more.  Family is the foundation of our lives. Kiss and hug them like it is the last time because when you leave the house or go to bed, you may never get the opportunity to speak to them again.


A little white lie is still a lie…… it hurts.

So… I screwed up. My wife and I are trying to have a baby, and I had to get some testing done at the Urologist. Now as you know, I love my wife dearly, she is my world, and I would never hurt her on purpose. Well, I f#%k#% up. I paid $250 for my initial fertility consult and couldn’t afford the lab work because it costs so much. At that moment I did not have insurance to pay for it. She asked about it and I told her they took blood when they didn’t.

This week my insurance kicks in and for my second visit all fertility lab work will be done. Hopefully they will have the results before the appointment. I have to go by and pick up a kit.

I would never cheat on my wife as I love her and the kids more than my own life. I have not been dishonest about anything and I am very proud of that fact. This tiny white lie is still a lie no less. It hurt her a lot. I know I messed up, but I did it bc I was ashamed I couldn’t afford the test until I had my insurance. This baby means so much to us both and I just wanted to do more than I could. We have been trying for a few months. My heart was in the right place but the actions were wrong. I admitted to it and accepted responsibility for it. I only hope she will see what I was trying to do.

So my point is this, no matter how insignificant it may be, or how embarrassed you might be, there is never a reason to tell the smallest of lies. Always, always be honest. Lesson learned.

As always, to my wife and kids, I love you. I made a huge error in judgement. I was an idiot, now the world knows as well. Thank you for making me better.


New Years Resolutions, Are They Unrealistic?

One of the great things about the New Year for most people is that it brings about a fresh start. Many people want to get into better shape physically or financially. Maybe it is to be a better spouse, or to hold yourself more accountable. Whatever your motivation, do not lose sight of accomplishing your goals.

It could be argued that resolutions are unrealistic. Look at any gym for instance. The first three months are the best time for gym owners because they will have such a huge influx of new memberships. Come March, most have lost their direction and given up. Maybe it is because of a bad diet, stress, work, or boredom.

The key is to set your goals for the year. Instead of resolutions, make them goals. They need to be tough enough for you to work at them, but not easy enough for you to barely do anything to accomplish them. If you have a significant other, do them together. It is nice to have someone who will hold you accountable. Plus, you are aligning your relationship and making it stronger. My wife and I did it this weekend, and it was awesome to see we were thinking along the same lines.

Next, build a plan. Use the SMART method. Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely. I like to use mind mapping as well, to make sure I am visualizing things the way I need to, to accomplish my goals. Do whatever works for you though. Write them down. No more than 10 a year. If you accomplish those 10, then make another list. If you write so many down early on, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Once you have the plan you want to follow, it is time to put it into action. Hold yourself accountable. At the same time, make sure there are consequences if you do not stay on track. My wife and I love to eat, (that is a huge problem, especially since she is a such a great cook!), but we have decided if we have a cheat meal before the end of the month, we will ruin our date nights by not having dinner out. This is enough motivation for us. Who wants to have a date night out on the town with no food?!!!!

Record. I cannot express enough how important it is to log everything each day. That way you can see what is working and what is not working. Seeing it is much better than trying to remember it. For example, why did I feel so much stronger on this day, than another day? Was it supplementation, breakfast, or pre-workout?

Finally, re-evaluate. Be flexible and constantly strive to improve. If you hit a wall, so be it. It doesn’t mean you are a failure. It means, you need to adjust. As Jocko Willink says, “some good will come from it.”

In the end, whatever the label you decide to use, write it down, plan it, put it into action, record it, and constantly re-evaluate.

I suggest you watch these videos. Things go bad for all of us. It is about perspective, and it can prevent you from reaching your goals. These are my favorite. The mind is a very powerful tool, so use it to your advantage.

As always, thank you.

Discipline- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbQh1ZPG5pc

Good- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IdTMDpizis8


Merry Christmas

From my family to yours, we wish each of you a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!

~Chris, Stefanie, Adysen, & Hailey


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