Tag Archives: liars

Turning Point

In each of our lives there is a turning point. It usually comes when we have been slapped in the face by an event so brutal we have to make a change. We have to decide if we are going to move forward, or if we are willing to lose those close to us. It is in these moments we can completely change who we are or we can continue on a path of self destruction and pain.

 

When you decide to change, throw yourself into it. Be the person you always knew you could be. Be honest, loyal, caring, passionate, and loving. Life is about our relationships with those who completely love us with all their hearts. Love them back, and embrace them every chance you get like it will be the last time you will ever see them. When you do not give yourself totally to the process, you not only let yourself down, you let those who gave you a chance down. Moreover, you will never know the relationships full potential.

 

What does a turning point represent? It represents a new beginning, and it is one of the greatest moments in your life because it is your transition from being selfish to being selfless. Priorities change. You no longer worry about your own needs, and you put the needs of your significant other before your own. Things that meant most to you take a back seat to spending time with those you love the most. Your behavior changes drastically because there is nothing you would ever do to cause the other person a once of pain. Instead, you work, tirelessly to show them every day you are the person you now claim to be. Old behaviors do not exist. You have been reborn and someone has given you an opportunity to take their hand and experience life filled with love, joy, and happiness. The ultimate sign of the turning point is asking someone to marry you. You are clearly saying that there is nothing in this world I love or cherish more than you. You are my everything, and you are the sole person on this planet I have chosen to be with.

 

When someone talks to you about getting married, there should be no doubt in your mind this person truly loves you. The honorable thing to do is to be honest about your feelings. Either you really hope they will marry you and you commit your life to them, or be honest and tell them the truth. Nothing is more embarrassing or painful than when someone wants to get married only to find out the other person is still into games like lying, cheating, texting, and meeting other people. Throw yourself into the new you, never look back, and let that person love you like there is no tomorrow.

 

The turning point is about personal growth, and the appreciation of life. It is about appreciating someone who has picked you out of a sea of people in the world to spend the rest of their life with on this planet. Show them everyday you are capable of earning and deserving their love. If you do, I can assure you that the happiest days of your life lay ahead of you.

 

 

James Joyce said, “Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star.”

 

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Relationships

Relationships have many faces. They can be fun, exciting, kind, loving, and passionate, but they can also be destructive. Lying, cheating, back stabbing, and no emotional, psychological, or physical support, can lead a relationship down a path of destruction. So when do you let go? When do you finally say, I can no longer do this because I deserve better.

 

As you know, a couple of months ago I found myself at a crossroad in my life. I could continue on the course I was on, or I could turn the corner and be all I knew I could be as a man. It was time to grow up, always do the right thing, live my life by the values my parents brought me up on, and be proud of who I am. Relationships are the same way. Give all you can each and every day. Love with all your heart, and never take the other person for granted. ALWAYS be honest no matter the pain it will cause, because lying in any form builds distrust, and it causes far more pain than just being honest. A relationship will not work if only one of you is being honest. It will not work if you are not forgiving each other for past mistakes, and it will not work if you cannot commit and understand each others needs.

 

Never leave a relationship because of another person. You decided to enter a relationship with this person for some reason. Your time is valuable and so is theirs, so make every minute worth both of your time. In the end, if it fails, you both gave it all you could, and you tried with all your heart to make it work. However, do not give up when times get tough. Nothing worth having is easy. There will be times you will not agree. Open and honest communication is the key to finding resolution in any situation and / or conflict.

 

If the person you are with is not meeting your needs, move on. Sometimes they make the decision for you based on their behavior. What I have found is that I am a fighter. We all make mistakes, but the problem arises when you do not correct the self destructive behavior. It is disrespectful to the other person in the relationship who is giving you all they have in everyway possible, yet you are unwilling to hold up your part. What makes it worse is when they look you in the eyes, and they say they understand, and yet they continue to lie. It is cowardly and unacceptable behavior. If you want to be a good person, then be one. If you want to truly change, then change. If you want someone to love you with every fiber of their being, then reciprocate that love in a manner fitting to deserve that same kind of love in return.

 

In the end, relationships only work when you both are willing to give 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. There are no breaks, no down time, and no, I just don’t feel like it today. They take work and commitment every single day. Both of you deserve reassurance from time to time, especially when you are having a tough day. The strongest relationships last because no matter the setting or the circumstance, the other person is all that matters. The selflessness of completely giving all of your self to someone, and showing them your vulnerability, is priceless. No matter who is around you or who is in a room, there is nothing more beautiful or handsome than your significant other. You find yourself falling in love with them all over again. When you ache to be with that person, no matter the circumstance, you will know without a doubt that is the person for you. This is especially true as the newness goes away, and the weeks become years. Relationships are an incredible thing, enjoy the journey and the process, just be respectful, open, and honest about your feelings.


Why is there so much violence?

There is so much violence around the world and in the United States. I believe the very freedoms we enjoy are also the Achilles Heel of much of what we deal with. There has been a culture change and numbness to violence. While I use to believe video games and embedded journalism should have no restrictions placed on them, what I have come to realize that maybe they should. Our society is a very volatile one. We care more about proving a point than rallying together regardless of race, sex, or sexual orientation. We are a free society for a reason, but there comes responsibility with those very freedoms as well. Ownership, hold yourself accountable for your actions and inactions. Violence and threats solve nothing. The senseless killing of one another does nothing more than create more violence. It is so easy to pick up a gun and shoot someone rather than talk things through. Diplomacy and active listening are lost arts. People are more willing to jump to conclusions based on a lack of information than they are to hear what the other person has to say.

 

Even as a conflict resolution expert, I struggle with my own life. No one is perfect. Treat everyone as they want to be treated. Look past the color of skin, a uniform, and hearsay. Talk through problems. People are so quick to walk away from an issue or problem rather than giving everyone the opportunity to say what they need to say. People assume the worse in each other, when there is a lot of good in them as well.

 

It is more obvious now more than ever that each person has the ability to kill. However, we choose not too based on the norms of society, and based on rational thinking. Others, let their emotions get the best of them, and even when they are trying to prove a point they end up looking like babbling psychopaths. The extremism and radicalism of racial and religious divide in the world is out of control. Ignorance instead of tolerance is becoming the norm. People are unwilling to compromise and just agree to disagree. You may not agree with what the other person believes in or what they do in their lives, but it does not excuse you to use violence. Instead, it is an opportunity to learn more about an issue from a different perspective. Your way is not the only way, it is just a way. While some will argue violence is the only way to create change, I will argue that it is only a short term solution. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. Most of the violence seen around the world is an excuse for criminals to be criminals, and they will look for any excuse or opportunity to create chaos and destruction. In the end, there is so much violence because people lack the coping skills to deal with sensitive issues, and they resort to violence in order to fill the void their knowledge, skills, and ability lack.

 

 


Admitting when you are wrong

I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and I have hurt a lot of people. There is no excuse for it, and I take full responsibility for it. In 44 years of my life, I have been blaming others for my inadequacies; I have blamed others for not reaching my goals, and not doing the right thing. I am not a law breaker, I don’t do drugs, and I very rarely drink if any. My life compared to most is pretty boring you might say. I have never owned a house, and I have lived outside of my means, living pay check to pay check, with nothing more to show than debt. I have always felt like a failure, but what I have managed to see is that it is my own fault. I have no one else to blame. The decisions I have made were my own. More than anything, I had to forgive my self, which is a hard burden to shoulder.

 

Now, I have focus, now I have a support system that encourages me. I am a better man, and every person that comes into my life serves a purpose, to make me a better person. In other words, I have goals, plans, and dreams. I have things I want to accomplish. It is about the process, and it is about learning what to do and what not to do. At the end of the day, it is about being better than the day before. I will never take advantage of anyone, I will never intentionally hurt anyone, and I will do my best each day to live life to the fullest.

 

I am not looking for anything from anyone, I am just saying regardless of who you are we all make mistakes. I have tried all my life to do it all alone, and I can no longer do it. I am doing things the right way, trying my best to live by the words I write. In the next few months you will start to learn more about me, my life, the people in it, and how we all can relate to one another. There will be some really good things to come out of this transition, and I hope you will be apart of this journey.


Liars

Blog-CIA-motto-300x157One of the worst traits anyone can have is to be labeled a liar. There is nothing more disgraceful or dishonest. Your word should be your bond. When you look someone in the eyes, and you give them your word, mean it. Liars are the lowest people on the earth in my opinion. They have no back bone, integrity, ethics, or morals. They are a disgrace to their family, their country, and they represent the lowest life forms in the universe. They are useless, and I do not have the time or tolerance for those people.

Why is lying acceptable? It could be our culture tolerates it. We have all lied to someone in our lives for a wide variety of reasons, and there is no excuse for it. However, it comes down to what we learned from that experience. I have made many mistakes, hurt many people, and there were times I just didn’t care. I do not claim to be perfect. What I am saying is time creates opportunity, vision, and clarity in our lives. Sometimes we have to loose the most important things in our lives before we can see the things we need to change the most. Life is hard enough and when we hurt the ones we love the most, two things will happen, you will either continue to take advantage of them or you will correct your behavior and be a better person. Take responsibility for your actions, and do whatever it takes to prevent the unacceptable behavior from happening again.

There are a variety of views about lying. Some see lying as harmful and self-interest, while others see it as an acceptable behavior when you are trying to protect someone’s feelings or get out of a relationship, as long as you are always honest with yourself. The only time you should lie would be in a life or death situation in my opinion. At that point, you have to do whatever it takes to keep you alive, no exceptions.  Otherwise, be honest because you would want someone to be honest with you. Honesty builds trust. As I previously discussed in one of my other articles, trust is the foundation for most relationships, when it is lost, you may never get it back. Without a doubt, lying is the number one killer of trust. Look at any type of conflict and you will see when one party lies to the other, trust is completely lost. I know there will be many of you who will disagree with me, and we all live by a different set of rules. My way, may or may not be your way, and it is ok. We just can’t be friends or colleagues.

What is the Solution? Tell the truth no matter the circumstances. The other person may not be happy at the time, but they will respect you more later on down the road. Most people appreciate someone being honest with them instead of trying to hide the truth. Sometimes you have to be brutally honest with people because they just don’t get it other wise. Think about how you would feel in the same situation and let your morals and ethics guide you.


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