Tag Archives: friends

Controlling Relationships more thoughts..

Stef gave me some good feedback and I want to add to it. I always asked who, what, when, where, why, and how. I didn’t realize it was breaking her down emotionally and making her a miserable person. I never knew saying don’t do this or that was so bad. Most concerns are not really concerns because they are our own insecurities. 

I love her very much, and my actions reflect those changes I promised her. She is seeing a man on a mission everyday. I am finally her rock. She can count on me to love her the right way and take care of her and the family emotionally and financially. Thank you my love.


Making the Most of Today

Today is a new day. The reset button has been hit just for you. No matter what the day before brought you, today is a fresh start. Today should bring you clarity, hope, and vision. Let go of yesterday, push forward, forgive one another, and love with all your heart. Holding on to the past brings resentment, anger in some cases, and negativity. Flip the switch, move forward and “live, laugh, and love” with the person in your life who will go through hell and back with you. In the end, they are the only one who truly loves you and whom you can trust. They are your rock.  Let them know how much you appreciate them,  and how much you love them.  It is a fresh start, a clean slate, so make the most of today and your life with them.


Fireproof

Yesterday showed me just how wrong I have been, when I thought I was actually right about everything. I genuinely thought in my mind I was doing everything, everyday the right way. I am faithful, loyal, committed, passionately in love with my bride, and I always do whatever I can for her in order to take the burden off her shoulders. Boy, was I wrong! Relationships take work, time, and commitment. Until you uncover the root cause of the issues you as an individual are facing, you will continue to have problems. I never thought I was the one who had problems. I just needed her to listen to my concerns. This was the wrong approach to take.

 

We watched Fireproof as a family. If you care at all about your marriage or your relationship, then it is a movie to watch. Moreover, there are online resources to utilize to help you in this journey. It is a very emotional process, and it makes you face tough issues, but is it the best thing out there for truly understanding how to love one another. It is for serious people who genuinely care about their significant other and their relationship. This is something you can do together, so throw your heart and soul into it, and never look back. I will always “study” her, and I will always do what I can every single day to show her how much I love her. The movie showed me that I never knew how to love myself, so how could I love her properly, if I couldn’t understand how to do so?

 

It is about faith and religion, and its application is geared towards whatever higher being you believe in. Additionally, I realized I cannot shoulder everything. I need guidance. While I thought I was doing everything in my power to meet her needs, I was failing in some aspects which were sensitive for us to discuss and probably the most important. Open and honest communication is necessary in any relationship, so put your pride aside, watch, actively listen, and put a plan into action together. This is a lifestyle change, not just a fix. You will see that both of you will reap the rewards by loving and growing with each other more than you ever thought possible.

 

As in all things I do, thank you for honey for loving me, being patient, and for all you do. This is for you and girls.


Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day has evolved since its original gathering at Plymouth Colony in 1621. This first feast involved turkey and pumpkin pie, shared by 53 Pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.   Originally, a festival harvest celebration for the harvest of the preceding year, it became a national holiday after George Washington’s proclamation in 1789, finally, becoming a federal holiday during the Civil War, authorized by Abraham Lincoln.

 

There are many people who wish to argue the true meaning of Thanksgiving and the ideology associated with it. However, there is one common theme no one can argue……..  giving thanks for whatever you deem appropriate.

 

This holiday season remember those who have made ultimate sacrifice for freedom. Politics aside, there is no greater honor in my opinion. Never take for granted the time you have been given because it is a gift others will not have in the next few seconds. Love your family and friends, tell them thank you for being in your life, and how much you appreciate them. This next year be a better you.

 

I want to leave you with a quotation from Tecumseh, a Native American Chief.  He talks about life, death, and giving thanks. I hope you will embrace his words, and live your life accordingly.

 

 

“So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a stranger if in a lonely place. Show respect to all people, but grovel to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself. Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools and robs them of their visions. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”
 

 


Friends

During our lifetime, research suggests we will meet as many as 10,000 people. Of those 10,000, we may be lucky enough to surround ourselves with people we can trust, have fun with, and build life long relationships. During the last two months, I have found out who my true friends really are in life. Sadly, there are none. When I thought about the couple of people who would be there for me when no one else would be, I learned my problems did not matter to them. It has created an internal struggle for me, and it is the focus for this week’s topic, friendship.

What is friendship? Harbhajan Singh quotes,, “I define friendship as a bond that transcends all barriers. When you are ready to expect anything and everything from friends, good, bad or ugly… that’s what I call true friendship.” I would add that TRUE friendship is when you know the person standing next to you has your back no matter the circumstances, and when the crap hits the fan, they are still standing when all others have left.

I keep my emotions in check most of the time, but I expect my best friends to let me express my emotions, thoughts, and feelings when needed. It is not healthy to keep everything built up inside of you because at some point you will crash. I use to think I was more of a man to keep everything built up inside, never showing weakness or vulnerability, and pushing through my struggles alone.  What I found out is it is not healthy. Research suggests keeping emotions built up causes high blood pressure, stress, cardiac issues, mental fatigue, and other physiologic issues.

Marc Chernof, in “9 Things a True Friend Would Never Do,” makes a strong argument about how true friends behave, he suggests the following things a friend never does:

  • Criticized you for being flawed
  • Walk away when times get tough
  • Discourage you
  • Hold a grudge over your head
  • Lie to you
  • Pretend like they have all the answers
  • Take from you without giving back
  • Bully you
  • Make you feel like your burdening them

His article was eye opening for me as I realized my so called best friends are just like everyone else. It is difficult to find true friends, and it is just as painful when they judge you or abandon you when you need them the most. If you are like me, you don’t really want people knowing your business, but when you confide in someone and they tell others about you, it is painful. The question then becomes, how do we resolve the internal need for someone we can truly trust and just having a group of friends?

I am the kind of guy that will always keep his word. If you tell me something, I will not go around spreading rumors or telling other people your business. I am honest and loyal, but I expect the same in return. I will be there for you no matter the distance or time of day. It is an honor to be chosen as a friend or best friend, and these are not words I take lightly. Remember thes people chose you to be a friend because of some of the unique qualities you have that no one else does. They could have chosen anyone, but they chose you. Do not let them down, but choose your friends wisely. Always be respectful and keep your word. True friendships are hard to come by so enjoy the people who come and go in your life, and stay in touch with those who have moved away. When they are gone from this earth, you will regret not making more of an effort.


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