Tag Archives: faith

Controlling Relationships more thoughts..

Stef gave me some good feedback and I want to add to it. I always asked who, what, when, where, why, and how. I didn’t realize it was breaking her down emotionally and making her a miserable person. I never knew saying don’t do this or that was so bad. Most concerns are not really concerns because they are our own insecurities. 

I love her very much, and my actions reflect those changes I promised her. She is seeing a man on a mission everyday. I am finally her rock. She can count on me to love her the right way and take care of her and the family emotionally and financially. Thank you my love.

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Controlling Relationships

This is a special article because it will be broken down into two parts. Part I will include my persepective, my mistakes, my regrets, and my conviction to correct my old problem for the rest of my life. Part II will include my other halfs perspective from her own words. We hope the reader can a better understanding the importance to openly communicate to one another so this does not happen. Relationships are worth fighting for especially when you genueinly love each other.

I honestly did not realize the damage I was doing until I got slapped in the face with the consequences of my actions. I thought I was protecting myself from being hurt when actually I was hurting us. Instead of bringing us closer together I was pushing her away. I thought she understood that I was trying to protect my family, trying to protect her, trying to do the right things as a man, father, and husband. I always take responsibility for my actions….. boy was I so incredibly wrong about doing things right. There is no doubt about how much I love my wife or kids, nor a shadow of doubt to my level of commitment to her and our family. I have never loved or appreciated anything so much. I often tell her how much the best place in the world is when I am holding her, and looking into her eyes. 

Guys listen up, step up and be a real man. Do not make the mistakes I did. You have to trust her. I always have but I wasn’t showing it because I was always getting upset about stupid stuff. She would stay over to talk to a female friend, my mind said it was a male. She wanted to work extra to pay a bill, my mind, she doesn’t want to spend time with me, and there is no way I want her to work her full time job extra. The proper thing to do is say hey honey I understand let’s figure it out together. Do not ever say you can’t or don’t!!!! Don’t do this or that, don’t wear this or that. Instead, express and voice your concerns. She and I are the worse about crap getting in our heads. However, we need each other but not in a demeaning way. We just love each other that much. Any concerns you may have do not say them over text!!!!!!! OMG!!! Text comes across the wrong way when you do not need them too every single time!!! Another example..Don’t go here or there. Instead, explain your concerns and move on. Things have to get done, and you cannot win every battle. I believe in transparency, but it goes far beyond this when you say you can’t or don’t. Asking not to do something is totally different, just make sure you have a good reason and not because of some crap in your head.

How did I feel? Like a total failure. I am sorry. However, this time my actions reflect my words. I have always been sincere in my apologies, but now that I truly understand finally, my actions will show it. My insecurities did this. I had no reason to be insecure. I am smart, educated, handsome (yes her words!!! Lol), and loving. She is my best friend and she loves me!!!! Why in the hell was I ever insecure?!!! Because I was an idiot. She loves me with all her heart, she trusts me, and she believes in me. 

We have financial issues like anyone else. However, we created debt together. We were strapped. Always be honest with your money issues. Pull your weight and work together because you are a partnership. Moving forward, I am doing all I can to reduce the income problems we have had. I will not be a supporter, I will be a provider.

What is my biggest regret? Hurting the only person in my life that I have ever truly loved. I never knew how not to be controlling. I never knew I wasn’t listening and it almost cost me everything. When you get hit with reality that your ass is losing everything and you have no control, you make life altering changes very quickly. You suck up your pride, step up, and be the man she knew was inside you, and you love her the way she has always wanted you too. I will never be that guy again.
My conviction and my only purpose is to do what we need for our family. I will love her the right way, I will get rid of our debt, and I will step up and be the man of the house. When I put articles out here it’s not just empty words. It is about accountability. It is our there for the world to see. There is no failure. I made her a few promises I will keep. First, changed behavior. I will lead by my actions. Second, I will always be a loving and supportive husband and father. Third, 1/2 to 3/4 of our credit card debt will be gone, and she will not have to work full time after the beginning of the year. I know, big promises. Well, guess what? I am keeping them all. 

In the end of Part I…. love your spouse do not be controlling. To easy! Stef will provide her perspective this week, and she will not hold back! I actually love that about her. 

Always fight for your family, but do it in way that is loving and enduring. It has made us better, brought us closer than ever before, and we appreciate things about each other so much more. I hate it happened, but if it makes my life with her better then I will go through hell and back. She deserves the best from me, and she has it because she showed me how not to be controlling just as I showed her how to love. It is a partnership.

 I love you more than anything on this earth. I trust you and I believe in you. I am your biggest fan and supporter. You gave me life when I had no air, you gave me hope when I lost hope in this world, and you love me and see good and greatness in me when I was too blind too. I will forever be changed for you, I will always put your needs before my own insecurities, and I will always love you the way you need me too. You are the greatest woman in the world. Your body drips with beauty, and I am the luckiest man in the world. I love you. As every minute passes when you are not in my arms I ache without you. I am so thankful and in love with you… thank you for making me a better man, father, and husband. 


Warrior Games- We Salute you

June 30th through July 8th are the warrior games. This event is specifically for wounded warriors to compete against one another. These warriors suffer from brain stem injuries, amputations, severe burns, and other wounds. The program was tailored after the Paralympic style games, and it proves life can continue after being injured. Every 65 minutes a veteran commits suicide. That is roughly 22 per day. These games give each athlete a way to bring back the fighting spirit that each one has inside of them. From my family to each and every member of the warrior games and to every Vet that may read this……. Thank You for your service! You are an inspiration to every American.


Why Men Should Appreciate Their Other half……

 

You should appreciate your other half because:

 

-they put up with your mouth

-they take care of you when you are sick

-they are stronger than you

-if she is pregnant, she made a lung, heart, fingers, limbs…. And you…. Right, nothing!

-they cook

-they clean your clothes

-they listen to you complain when you are having a bad day.

-they are delicate inside and out, but can be as tough as barbed wire if needed.

-they keep us in line when are unable to do so

-they look more and more beautiful as each day passes

-they are understanding and compassionate

-they are kind

-they put things into perspective

-they love you even when you probably do not deserve it

-they take pride in the way they look

-they pour their heart and soul into the relationship

-they appreciate the small things

-they are nurturing

-they are passionate

-they are driven

-they are strong

This list doesn’t begin to scratch the surface as to why men should appreciate their other half, but it does show that woman are more well-rounded and mature than men. Thank you for all the hard work and dedication.

 

 


Why Are We Here?

We are here because we chose to be here. We are here because we saw something good, pure, and honest. We are here because we chose to be together when we could have went our separate ways. We are here because we believe in each other, we support each other, and we love each other. We are here because we are a team. We are here because we believe no one could love us better. We are here because we are each other’s everything.

 

There is conflict all around us in every aspect of life. Every choice, decision, and action has consequences. The way we listen to the others concerns, and respond to their concerns can either bring you closer or widen the distance. You should want to know why the person feels the way they do, and take steps to make them feel more secure. Getting angry, belittling, or calling names is not the answer. It has the opposite effect.

 

Communication is critical because you have to make sure you are both on the same page. Your goals need to be aligned. Set 1, 3, and 5 year bench marks and make sure you revisit those goals often. Pay off your debt as a team. While you see the world from two different lenses, coming together as one to resolve issues breeds happiness and self-worth as stake holders in the bigger picture. It is not about you, it is about the other person. Compromising doesn’t mean you have given in to the other person. It means together you have created a win-win solution, meeting the needs for all parties involved. Moreover, it is about putting aside your pride, being humble, always being completely honest, and empathetic. The result are feelings of security, happiness, peace, satisfaction, and inspiration (Blackburn, n.d).

 

Relationships and marriages take work, but the rewards for your efforts are priceless. Positivity breeds positive thoughts, emotions, feelings, and a renewed since of being. Do not take each other for granted. Speak often about your feelings for one another. In the end, “Live, Love, & Laugh”.

 

 


Fireproof

Yesterday showed me just how wrong I have been, when I thought I was actually right about everything. I genuinely thought in my mind I was doing everything, everyday the right way. I am faithful, loyal, committed, passionately in love with my bride, and I always do whatever I can for her in order to take the burden off her shoulders. Boy, was I wrong! Relationships take work, time, and commitment. Until you uncover the root cause of the issues you as an individual are facing, you will continue to have problems. I never thought I was the one who had problems. I just needed her to listen to my concerns. This was the wrong approach to take.

 

We watched Fireproof as a family. If you care at all about your marriage or your relationship, then it is a movie to watch. Moreover, there are online resources to utilize to help you in this journey. It is a very emotional process, and it makes you face tough issues, but is it the best thing out there for truly understanding how to love one another. It is for serious people who genuinely care about their significant other and their relationship. This is something you can do together, so throw your heart and soul into it, and never look back. I will always “study” her, and I will always do what I can every single day to show her how much I love her. The movie showed me that I never knew how to love myself, so how could I love her properly, if I couldn’t understand how to do so?

 

It is about faith and religion, and its application is geared towards whatever higher being you believe in. Additionally, I realized I cannot shoulder everything. I need guidance. While I thought I was doing everything in my power to meet her needs, I was failing in some aspects which were sensitive for us to discuss and probably the most important. Open and honest communication is necessary in any relationship, so put your pride aside, watch, actively listen, and put a plan into action together. This is a lifestyle change, not just a fix. You will see that both of you will reap the rewards by loving and growing with each other more than you ever thought possible.

 

As in all things I do, thank you for honey for loving me, being patient, and for all you do. This is for you and girls.


Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day has evolved since its original gathering at Plymouth Colony in 1621. This first feast involved turkey and pumpkin pie, shared by 53 Pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.   Originally, a festival harvest celebration for the harvest of the preceding year, it became a national holiday after George Washington’s proclamation in 1789, finally, becoming a federal holiday during the Civil War, authorized by Abraham Lincoln.

 

There are many people who wish to argue the true meaning of Thanksgiving and the ideology associated with it. However, there is one common theme no one can argue……..  giving thanks for whatever you deem appropriate.

 

This holiday season remember those who have made ultimate sacrifice for freedom. Politics aside, there is no greater honor in my opinion. Never take for granted the time you have been given because it is a gift others will not have in the next few seconds. Love your family and friends, tell them thank you for being in your life, and how much you appreciate them. This next year be a better you.

 

I want to leave you with a quotation from Tecumseh, a Native American Chief.  He talks about life, death, and giving thanks. I hope you will embrace his words, and live your life accordingly.

 

 

“So live your life so the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their views, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and of service to your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide. Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a stranger if in a lonely place. Show respect to all people, but grovel to none. When you arise in the morning, give thanks for the light, for your life and strength. Give thanks for your food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies in yourself. Touch not the poisonous firewater that makes wise ones turn to fools and robs them of their visions. When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home.”
 

 


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