Tag Archives: Conflict management

Controlling Relationships more thoughts..

Stef gave me some good feedback and I want to add to it. I always asked who, what, when, where, why, and how. I didn’t realize it was breaking her down emotionally and making her a miserable person. I never knew saying don’t do this or that was so bad. Most concerns are not really concerns because they are our own insecurities. 

I love her very much, and my actions reflect those changes I promised her. She is seeing a man on a mission everyday. I am finally her rock. She can count on me to love her the right way and take care of her and the family emotionally and financially. Thank you my love.

Turning Point

In each of our lives there is a turning point. It usually comes when we have been slapped in the face by an event so brutal we have to make a change. We have to decide if we are going to move forward, or if we are willing to lose those close to us. It is in these moments we can completely change who we are or we can continue on a path of self destruction and pain.


When you decide to change, throw yourself into it. Be the person you always knew you could be. Be honest, loyal, caring, passionate, and loving. Life is about our relationships with those who completely love us with all their hearts. Love them back, and embrace them every chance you get like it will be the last time you will ever see them. When you do not give yourself totally to the process, you not only let yourself down, you let those who gave you a chance down. Moreover, you will never know the relationships full potential.


What does a turning point represent? It represents a new beginning, and it is one of the greatest moments in your life because it is your transition from being selfish to being selfless. Priorities change. You no longer worry about your own needs, and you put the needs of your significant other before your own. Things that meant most to you take a back seat to spending time with those you love the most. Your behavior changes drastically because there is nothing you would ever do to cause the other person a once of pain. Instead, you work, tirelessly to show them every day you are the person you now claim to be. Old behaviors do not exist. You have been reborn and someone has given you an opportunity to take their hand and experience life filled with love, joy, and happiness. The ultimate sign of the turning point is asking someone to marry you. You are clearly saying that there is nothing in this world I love or cherish more than you. You are my everything, and you are the sole person on this planet I have chosen to be with.


When someone talks to you about getting married, there should be no doubt in your mind this person truly loves you. The honorable thing to do is to be honest about your feelings. Either you really hope they will marry you and you commit your life to them, or be honest and tell them the truth. Nothing is more embarrassing or painful than when someone wants to get married only to find out the other person is still into games like lying, cheating, texting, and meeting other people. Throw yourself into the new you, never look back, and let that person love you like there is no tomorrow.


The turning point is about personal growth, and the appreciation of life. It is about appreciating someone who has picked you out of a sea of people in the world to spend the rest of their life with on this planet. Show them everyday you are capable of earning and deserving their love. If you do, I can assure you that the happiest days of your life lay ahead of you.



James Joyce said, “Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star.”



In broken relationships and marriages, forgiveness is probably the hardest thing to do when the person you trusted has hurt you. Revenge becomes your immediate goal instead of trying to understand, fix, and heal. When trust is lost, it takes a huge amount of work to get it back, but it is not impossible. It takes work, dedication, and consistency to get through it. However, no matter how hard you work, if the other person cannot forgive you, then you will never move forward.

Why is forgiveness important? To those who believe in the Bible, it states, “to err is human and to forgive is divine.” Forgiveness starts the healing process, and it allows those involved to rebuild their relationship if they choose to do so. Forgiveness does not condone any thing, but it is the initial step to move forward, leaving behind the hate and pain. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness or vulnerability. It promotes strength and health, and it gets rid of the depression and hatred. The key is once you have been forgiven, you learn from it and change your behavior forever.

After forgiveness has been established, trust has to be restored. Allwomentalk.com provides 9 ways to help rebuild trust. 1. Admit your mistakes. 2. Be humble 3. Have patience 4. Noticeable changes 5. Don’t forget the little things 6. Never, never lie!- I cannot overstate the importance of lying. You cannot move forward if you continue to lie. It causes more hatred, more issues of mistrust, it damages your integrity, it damages your relationship, and you could end up losing the best person who has ever walked into your life. 7. Keep your issues private- There is no need to tell your kids, your friends, family, or anyone else except a relationship professional about what is going on. Many times the people you think you can trust will have alterative motives, and they will try to persuade you to think and act a certain way to meet their own personal agenda. 8. Be thoughtful 9. Do not make the same mistake twice.

Forgiveness is a process, and it is not as easy as cutting the lights on or off. There are a lot of emotions, but if two people are committed to one another, they can get through it TOGETHER. There is another side of forgiveness I would like to mention. There seems to be some confusion that when someone forgives, they are condoning the behavior of the other person. In contrast, what is really happening is the person forgiving no longer is ACTING like the victim. I am not saying they are not the victim per se, but they have decided to not act like one… i.e. revenge, more lying, bringing up the past, depression, or threat of suicide. They have decided to give the person and the relationship an honest chance at rebuilding. In many cases, the forgiveness brings them closer together and makes them stronger. More than anything it provides a wider lens and perspective to past, current, and future events.

In the end, only you can decide if you want to continue to live in misery and despair, or you can forgive, learn from it, and make yourself and the relationship better. To reiterate, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it is a sign of strength, fortitude, and resiliency. Reinhold Niebuhr said it best, “forgiveness is the final form of love.”

Why is there so much violence?

There is so much violence around the world and in the United States. I believe the very freedoms we enjoy are also the Achilles Heel of much of what we deal with. There has been a culture change and numbness to violence. While I use to believe video games and embedded journalism should have no restrictions placed on them, what I have come to realize that maybe they should. Our society is a very volatile one. We care more about proving a point than rallying together regardless of race, sex, or sexual orientation. We are a free society for a reason, but there comes responsibility with those very freedoms as well. Ownership, hold yourself accountable for your actions and inactions. Violence and threats solve nothing. The senseless killing of one another does nothing more than create more violence. It is so easy to pick up a gun and shoot someone rather than talk things through. Diplomacy and active listening are lost arts. People are more willing to jump to conclusions based on a lack of information than they are to hear what the other person has to say.


Even as a conflict resolution expert, I struggle with my own life. No one is perfect. Treat everyone as they want to be treated. Look past the color of skin, a uniform, and hearsay. Talk through problems. People are so quick to walk away from an issue or problem rather than giving everyone the opportunity to say what they need to say. People assume the worse in each other, when there is a lot of good in them as well.


It is more obvious now more than ever that each person has the ability to kill. However, we choose not too based on the norms of society, and based on rational thinking. Others, let their emotions get the best of them, and even when they are trying to prove a point they end up looking like babbling psychopaths. The extremism and radicalism of racial and religious divide in the world is out of control. Ignorance instead of tolerance is becoming the norm. People are unwilling to compromise and just agree to disagree. You may not agree with what the other person believes in or what they do in their lives, but it does not excuse you to use violence. Instead, it is an opportunity to learn more about an issue from a different perspective. Your way is not the only way, it is just a way. While some will argue violence is the only way to create change, I will argue that it is only a short term solution. Be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. Most of the violence seen around the world is an excuse for criminals to be criminals, and they will look for any excuse or opportunity to create chaos and destruction. In the end, there is so much violence because people lack the coping skills to deal with sensitive issues, and they resort to violence in order to fill the void their knowledge, skills, and ability lack.




There is a delicate line we must balance when dealing with our emotions. On one hand, the excitement and happiness we experience are feelings we never want to go away. Yet, the pain and suffering we experience are feelings we search for answers too. Some people do not wish the harsh reality of life on others, and there are some who wish for the very worst on others. Especially if they feel as though someone is responsible for those negative emotions.


Sometimes we forget just how powerful our emotions can be. They have the ability to consume us to our core, and they cause us to do things we usually would not do under normal circumstances. Look at any conflict and you will see how the emotions of each stake holder played a role in how the conflict was managed or resolved. It is about perspective, understanding, emotional control, acceptance, finding peace, and knowing our limitations.


Jim Camp, in an article titled, “Decisions are Emotional, Not Logical: The Neuroscience behind Decision Making” argues that emotions, not logic are the driving force in decision making. Negotiators are doomed to fail if they think facts, statistics, reason, and logic are going to win. These things are only one side of the conflict. You cannot tell someone what to think, how to feel, or what is best for them. Instead, you help them discover what is best for them, what feels right, and what gives them the most advantage. It is human nature that decision making be based on personal interest. Camp goes on to say that when we reveal the problems, pain, and unmet objectives can you start the healing or resolution process by helping them build a vision for themselves.


Emotions play a definitive role in our decision making process. Good or bad, these decisions can have dire consequences for those involved. Sometimes we need to take a step back and look at the over all picture, not just the immediate one, and think before acting. In the end, only you can control you, while other people may influence you, you are solely responsible for your actions or inaction’s.

How to be Successful in Life

Jeff Boss, a contributor for Entrepreneur, as someone who has been through Navy SEAL training, connects the mindset of a SEAL to everyday life in business.

“Training, learning, and improvement never end” You have to constantly strive to be better than you were the day before. We can always learn something from everyone, so do not be close minded to think you know everything.

“You don’t have to like it, you just have to do it” Whether or not you agree with the choices being made, you are going to have to do it anyway, so you should make the best of the situation and do the best you can. Lead by example, because your attitude can be the difference between others accepting it or creating more animosity.

“There is always a price to pay” Some things are bigger than the individual. Remember there are egos, lives, and livelihoods at stake when things go bad. The best thing you can do is always accept responsibility for your actions, learn from your mistakes and acknowledge them. There is a lot to be said about humility. This is what separates average people from exceptional leaders.

“Contrary to popular belief, there are stupid questions” Stupid people ask stupid questions. Boss makes it very clear by stating, “We live with the power of choice.” If you chose to do wrong, be willing to reap the rewards, or in this case the punishment. Again, accept responsibility for your actions,

“Two ways to do something, the right way, and again.” Take the time to do it right the first time. Train hard, and know your job, skill, and your limitations. If you are lacking in some area, take the time to practice. Do what it takes to be better than just average.

“Mind over matter, If I don’t mind, then it doesn’t matter” There are some things you can not change, so do not fight them. This is not to say you shouldn’t voice your concerns, because you definitely should. However, every situation dictates a different approach, and the team will either rejoice or suffer because of your actions.

“Change happens when you least expect it, and it lasts indefinitely” “Preparation won’t suffice, but adaptability will” We each have the ability to succeed as long as we are willing to accept change and adapt from it. The entire team has to be on the same page, and each member must be held accountable for their ability or inability to get the job done.  When it is all said and done, “preparation is the byproduct of a willingness to try.”

“Quitters” Anyone can be a quitter, but it takes a unique person to dig deep and suck it up when it gets tough. A strong team will be there to support you no matter the circumstances. Quitters are weak minded, lack goals, vision, and the mental capacity to get things done, and they are willing to let their personal issues or pain get in the way of accomplishing their goals.

It is easy to be an individual, but it is harder to work as a team. Most people do not want to deal with other people’s deficiencies. They are not willing to take the time to speak frankly and lend a hand. Everyone takes criticism differently, so you learn as much as you can about the members on your team. Balance one another, and take the time to bring them up to speed in deficient areas.

Is violence a necessary part of international conflict?

Recently, I ran into an interesting debate about the field of conflict analysis & resolution. On one hand, we as peace practitioners are concerned with understanding the underlying issues of the conflict, examining them from unbiased perspectives, breaking them down to their core so we can expose all possible avenues of the conflict to those involved, and if we are lucky, we will take the information and provide multiple avenues of management or resolution. Safety and security are the number one priorities in any conflict analysis situation. However, there seems to be a stigma in our field that everything in conflict analysis and resolution must be based on the best practices of preserving peace and tranquility, the pictures of the 1969’s Woodstock, NY concerts come to many peoples mind. In my opinion, this undermines the true meaning of conflict analysis and the hard work many people in our field deal with everyday.

While many institutions preach the value of creating and sustaining peace, they fall short by not equally discussing that violence is necessary in some cases or at the very least, these institutions should provide a realist perspective to conflict. I am not condoning or suggesting any type of violence in the workplace, relationships, or any other forum to resolve conflict. I am saying there are people who must be eliminated for the common good. More specifically, extremist such as: Hitler and Osama Bin Laden. The reality is war and violence is sometimes necessary to ensure the safety and security of all stakeholders. This does NOT include or encourage any civil violence or civil disturbances, nor does it condone to take action into your on hands. Nor does it condone the violence against one another in developed worlds or in the United States like the violence we are seeing against police officers. This is murder, it does not solve problems, and it is ignorant for anyone to think other wise. However, from an international perspective, violence becomes a necessary extension of conflict management or resolution, i.e. against ISIL and ISIS.  While violence is usually considered to be the last option, there are times when it is the only option. It must be noted, violence alone does not solve problems, but when it is combined with other techniques it can be very useful. What would the United States look like today if we did not get involved during Word War II?

There are social and political issues that most governments are unable to meet, and these are the most basic human needs of the population, not to mention the psychological aspects that have long lasting effects, directly effecting the future actions of those involved if not addressed early. This is why many people turn to extremist because they have the ability to provide goods and services the government cannot provide. In his research, On Peace in Times of War: Resolving Violent Conflicts by Peaceful Means, written by Juergen Dedring, he discusses the problems associated with the use of modern day techniques. The problem lies not with our ability to resolve conflict, but it is the method by which we try to resolve or mange conflict. The modern problem solving approach is based on rational actors. When conflict has escalated to the point of the use of violence, it is involving non-rational actors. The modern approach utilizes a theory based approach without the practical application needed to fully understand the importance of the stakeholders.

As practitioners, we must be able to think outside the box, and form solutions based on what the stakeholders deem most important, not the practitioner. A theory is only as good as the application. There is no cookbook approach to conflict resolution, especially in regards to the use of violence. We must go further than trying to understand the conflict, its background, its roots, culture, and people. We must approach it from every angle possible to facilitate a solution. Remember it is not your conflict. The stakeholders want to be ones who come up with the solution, because they are the ones who understand its nuances best. They may have multiple resolution or management solutions, but they lack the ability to implement or understand how to best implement the solutions. In Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Balkans in the 90’s, violence is necessary in order to gain security and safety in order to start peaceful negotiations.

Academic institutions and practitioners should be honest when discussing conflict management and conflict resolution to their students. Regardless of the best intentions, peaceful negotiations may not always be in the best interest of those involved. While most programs believe firmly in the ability to resolve any conflict by non-violent means, it is not realistic, and it is not the world we live in. However, from an educational standpoint, it is important to discuss why violence should and should not be used. Weather or not you agree with war, if it were not for the men and women who put their lives in harms way everyday, you would not be enjoying the freedoms you take for granted.

Hatred in the United States

I recently stumbled across a YouTube video that went viral on the internet from a Black activist Joe Evans, who is the former vice-chairman and executive director of the Jefferson County Republican Party, issuing a request to President Obama to denounce the “Black Lives Matter” movement because it incites rioting and more hatred. Instead, he believes the movement should be called the “All Lives Matter” movement. This would encompass all races and all genders of people, instead of singling out a particular race, which calls for more hate and more violence against those who are sworn to protect.

Being a conflict resolution practitioner, I firmly believe this makes the most sense. I have worn the uniform, and it is easy to play arm-chair quarter back unless you have been in their position. You have to make quick decisions, and these decisions have catastrophic consequences if you are wrong. Lets be honest, everyone makes mistakes, but these mistakes cost people their lives. Have there been mistakes that were 100% percent wrong, absolutely. However, destroying your own neighborhoods solves nothing.

Police are held accountable on multiple levels. There is the internal affairs division, training and standards, outside agency investigations, and the legal system. Whenever there is a shooting, an outside agency must get involved. The department will usually do its own investigation, but the highest law enforcement agency in the state will conduct one as well. This is to ensure there is an unbiased investigation. What I have found to be more compelling in these last few months is the fact that some of the shootings have actually been justified through the use of force continuum. The public needs to learn and understand how this works before judging if the officer had the right to act. Also, most people do not know all the facts or pieces of the puzzle that occurred before the shooting. There have been justifiable shootings where the suspect actually robbed a store using violence, then tried to fight the officer, take his weapon, and hurt the officer. However, some people believe this is still not a reason to shoot an unarmed suspect, and this could be further from the truth.

The black lives matter movement is racist. It incites racism to its core, and it pushes for the willful retaliation of police officers who really are doing their jobs. Many African-American leaders have denounced the movement because it is not in their best interest to support something that initiates more violence. There have been several officers murdered in the last few weeks. The officers did not have the opportunity to defend themselves, and they were killed by people who are for all intents and purposes, cowards and criminals. It proves nothing and solves nothing. If anything, it pushes for the police to use more force, and it further divides the communities we live in. This is not what Martin Luther King Jr would have stood for if he were alive. He was about bringing people of all races together as Americans, pursuing equality and justice in a manner that is not violent, because he knew violence leads to more violence. Hatred in the United States is nothing new. Let’s be honest, our culture, historical upbringing, life experiences, and beliefs shape our lives. To some, extremism is the only way to make change, but the extremism must be in the form of non-violent and legal means. If not, it will have consequences that will enrage more people, push for more violence on both sides of the issues, ultimately accomplishing nothing more than more destruction and possibly death.

What is the solution? The solution lies in helping one another understand the issues from all sides. Both sides have to find some sort of common ground, maybe even have some sort of concessions put into place, but each side must take the time to listen to the others perspective. Take the time to understand the training, the background, the culture, the environment, the conditions, and the weight faced by every man and woman who puts on the uniform. In contrast, law enforcement needs to understand the communities they work, and racial injustices some of the people in these communities have faced during their life time. These actions will help both sides understand why there is mistrust between the community and law enforcement. This is the only way to truly understand all the issues. We all have different opinions and that is ok. It is about working together to accomplish the goals that help one another and not just one side. Nothing can be accomplished over night, things take time, and it’s hard to change an entire culture. However, some good has occurred, not because of the black lives matter movement, but because of the importance of holding officers more accountable. The movement didn’t change this behavior, the actions or inactions of the officers involved did. Body cameras are more common, outside civilian boards for police departments are in place, and there is a push for more accountability by all levels of supervision. The main point is this, violence solves nothing. This is not war. This is civil unrest and civil disturbances of the peace based on a few incidents which do not reflect all of the law enforcement community.

Drone Strikes In Pakistan: U.S. & Pakistan Relations

The Unites States and Pakistan have not been the best of allies since 911. Most of the conflict has occurred because of cross boarder skirmishes and trust issues. The United States would like to continue a strategic partnership with Pakistan, but the U.S. will not bend on certain requirements. This has led the Pakistan-U.S. relationships to deteriorate to a very low level. Pakistan does not believe it can trust the United States to keep its word, and the United States does not think Pakistan is committed to weeding out all forms of terrorism and extremism. In short, these two countries are at a stand still in trying to negotiate a new bilateral agreement moving forward.


The U.S.-Pakistan relationship has been mainly based on military and economic need. The United States was Pakistan’s first ally after the establishment of the country through the Indian Partition by Great Britain on October 24, 1947. Through the years, their relationship has had several up’s and down’s. In the 1940’s the two aligned while India started to align with the Soviet Union. The 1950’s strengthen the relationship with Pakistan allowing a secret U.S. base in their country. The relationship started to go down hill during the 70’s when the United States did not impose sanctions against India when it started nuclear testing. During the latter part of the 70’s through the 80’s, the U.S. Pakistan relationship continued to strengthen by helping the Pakistan military train the Mujahedeen during the Soviet-Afghanistan War. At the end of the war, President Bush suspended all economic and military aid to Pakistan until they can verify Pakistan does not possess a nuclear device.

The 1990’s brought tension as Pakistan joins the United Arab Emirates, and Saudi Arabia when they decided to recognize the Taliban as Afghanistan’s formal government. The relationship further eroded when the United States asked for assistance in getting Osama Bin Laden after the bombings of Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, Nairobi, and Kenya. When asked, Pakistan turned their head and never replied to the United States. In 1999 the United States imposes full economic sanction after Pakistan tested 5 nuclear devices. When 9/11 occurred the countries became strong allies in the fight against terrorism, and Pakistan played a valuable role in crippling the Taliban.

In 2003 Daniel Pearle is captured and killed in Pakistan, later Pakistan decided to assist in the capture of Khalid Sheik Mohammed, a senior al-Qaeda figure. In 2004, Pakistan Scientist went rogue, providing weapons to Iran, Libya, and N. Korea. Iran released him in 2009, and the United States still feels he is a threat. A CIA contractor was held captive until his release after blood money given to the families of the fallen. The biggest event to lead to the down fall of their relations occurred when Osama Bin Laden was killed by CIA Special Operations and Navy SEAL’s on May 2nd, 2011 in Abbottabad, Pakistan. This was seen as an embarrassment by Pakistan because they were never informed he was living there, and they were not included in a raid which took place a few hundred yards from a military complex. Pakistan was not informed because of the sensitive nature of the operation, and the United Stated felt as though they could not be trusted. In addition Pakistan has refused to give all its effort to get rid of extremism, and the United States halted $800 billon in aid to them because of their inaction.

The final two events which have added insult and harm to a wound that has not healed yet from the Osama Bin Laden death were the Pakistan government turning over the helicopter left over to the Chinese to examine their stealth technology. Finally, there was an incident at the Pakistan-Afghanistan border where 24 Pakistan Military personnel were killed by NATO fighter planes. In retaliation, Pakistan has blocked the passageway for military supplies to come into their country causing a huge stall in getting supplies to needed personnel.



            The current problems deal with the use of CIA drone strikes and the death of the Pakistan military personnel. Pakistan wants several things: an apology for the death of their personnel, an end to drone strikes, end to covert and overt operations, respect for Pakistan sovereignty and independence, end to boots on the ground in Pakistan or pursuit in their country, a revision of the 1000 mile supply line where a levy will be placed on all American military supplies, and NATO to use their old railway system instead of roadways.

The CIA drone strikes have been very beneficial to killing top Al-Qaeda leaders and Taliban leaders, and the drones have proved useful in disrupting the overall effectiveness of both groups. The Pakistan civilian population is not coping with the strikes too well, as they claim there has been several civilian deaths related to the strikes. While there are always casualties of war, these claims have not deterred the use of drone strikes. Last year there were approximately 58 compared to 100-200 strikes the year before. The Bureau, a journalism website dedicated to keeping statistical data on the use of drones and other governmental information claims from 2004-2015 there have been 421 drone strikes in Pakistan, killing between 2476-3989, and of those killed, 423-965 were civilians.

Pakistan does acknowledge the United States interests in eliminating terrorism and combating extremism, the promotion of peace talks with the Taliban, and strengthening security. However, Pakistan continues to harbor terrorist, and they are unwilling to devote fully to getting rid of extremism. These are the reasons why the United States continues to operate without notifying Pakistan of covert operations. Could the United States risk having Osama Bin Laden get away by telling Pakistan about the operation? Simply, no they could not. Until Pakistan is held accountable for their inactions, they can never be fully trusted.

The United States is very concerned with Pakistan negotiating with Russia and China in regards to building a new pipeline from Iran. Especially with the current nuclear weapons crisis and sanction put in place against Iran. The United States sees it as Pakistan undermining the seriousness of Iran developing a nuclear weapon. Pakistan argues the Pakistan-Russian relationship is the cornerstone of foreign policy, and they feel like they are not doing anything wrong.

Pakistan is standing behind its word, and all negotiations are off until further notice. The United States is willing to offer some concessions. They are willing to consider tariffs, but the drone strikes are not debatable. Furthermore, it is very unlikely the United States or the military will offer any sort of apology for the Pakistan deaths. The United States stands firm behind the belief it must protect its troops, but Pakistan wants transparency.


            Due to the violent nature of terrorism and extremism, the United States will continue drone attacks. Pakistan does acknowledge the importance of the attacks, but they want to be read into the attacks before they occur. The same goes with boots on the ground and following terrorist into Pakistan. There are some cases where it is impossible to make all the notifications needed before pursuing someone into another country. The delay may hurt some feelings and cause political tension, but if the United States can kill or capture the enemy, then it is worth it.

The main issue for Pakistan appears to be respect and an apology for the killing of their service members. An apology would go a long way with starting the healing processes, but the United States is reluctant to make a move yet. In a section titled, Monochronic versus Polychronic Concepts of Time, Cohen quotes, “Time is crucial in diplomacy. Major tactical and strategic judgments hang on assumptions about the history, ripeness, timing, temp, and duration. Preparing for negotiation, one might ask such questions as these about the opponents: How heavy does historical grievance weigh on relationships? How important to them are short-range considerations versus long-range considerations? Indeed, to what extent do they plan for the future? How do they perceive the future-better than the past, the same as before, teleological, or cyclical?

The Pakistan-U.S. relationship is very important from a strategic standpoint for both countries. Neither side can continue to focus on past problems because they have a direct affect on current negotiations. The relationship is crucial short and long term for both countries, so they have to work their way through some of the difficult issues. The United States already gives hundreds of millions of dollars to Pakistan each year, and 98% of the aid going to operational related programs, but the U.S. is willing to consider additional tariff’s to move military equipment in and out of the country. This is a very big concession for the U.S. to make. In return they are hoping Pakistan will overlook some of the feet on the ground in their country near the border territories. These areas continue to harbor terrorist.           Because of the accidental killings, Pakistan had refused to continue any talks. The United States is open to negotiation, but they are not willing to completely give in. Instead of focusing on each other, they need to turn their attention to the important issues which will shape their long term relationship.



The Pakistan-U.S. relationship is difficult. They need one another strategically, but their needs are very different. The U.S. needs to work within Pakistan borders, but they want to do it on their terms. There is a belief that Pakistan can only be trusted to an extent. Pakistan refuses to fully commit to fighting terrorism. There are some who believe Pakistan is getting bullied from Al-Qaeda and the Taliban, or they are simply sympathizers to the cause. Either way, Pakistan holds the blame for many of their short comings and complaints. Pakistan desperately needs U.S. military aid. The Obama administration withheld $800 million dollars until the border crossing and transportation issues were resolved. These countries have to work together and find concessions. Until some of the trust issues can be resolved, they may remain in a stalemate. In contrast, the United States cannot continue to do whatever they want to in or to other countries in the world without approval. It appears at times the U.S. throws it weight around without regard to others, but they justify it by saying it is in national security interest.

Principals of a Politician

I was sitting here listening to the news, thinking about the run for the 2016 Presidential race. This could be one of the most important political races held because of the increase of conflict world wide. Instead of political rhetoric and empty promises, it would be nice to see someone who is honest, represents all Americans, and will actually do their best to decrease the escalation of violence while providing sustainable actions.

In the essay titled, “Patriotic Values and Policies: A Ten-Principal Plan” from the book, “The True Patriot” written by Eric Liu and Nick Hanauer, they believe any political policy is based upon values rooted in the system of the United States. I am here to argue this is the problem with the political policy process and politicians. The foundation from which our country was built is not the problem, and the majority will agree about the fundamental rights and responsibilities we have as citizens. Instead, look deeper at those who are suppose to serve our best interest. Ask yourself, are they really serving the people or their political survival? I think in our hearts we want to believe it is for the citizens, but in our heads we know it is about political survival. This is not what this country was built upon. The following paper will give a brief discussion of Patriotic Values and Policies, and I will examine a new theory, Principals of a Politician, where I use three elements: concepts, constructs, and definitions to clearly explain why this theory is valid.

Ten Principal Plan- “Patriotic Values and policies” Summary

It could be argued these ten principals are the heart of the American soul. These include: American Exceptionalism which means we are an exceptional country with roots in hopes, dreams, and aspirations. We need to lead by example, and we need to show humility. Society has been plagued with people who are lazy and want a hand out instead of working hard, earning the respect of others, and being humble. No one should be above working hard, getting their hands dirty, and sharing their experiences so that others may learn from them. Responsibility for the common good means those with wealth should give to those in need, and those who work should be properly supported and rewarded. Equality of opportunity regardless of race, religion, or ethnic background means we all have the opportunity to experience success. Policies should be put in place to bridge the gaps between rich, poor, and middle class. Patriotic capitalism means we as a nation believe in the fundamentals of market and trade. We examine these markets and make adjustments to better serve our country. Mutual obligation means share risks and we help one another in times of need, and we should help establish a legitimacy of mutual obligation in order to make sure everyone has the same benefits and expectation of goods and services. Service to country means to join the military or serve in the AmeriCorps or other community service. We have an obligation to serve our country in some capacity, be it volunteering or paid. Stewardship means to be conscious of the environment, resources, and the infrastructure. Take care of these things the best possible way so other generations can use and enjoy them. Common sense virtue means to be an example in the community in the things you do, watch, wear, and say. Promote peace instead of violence, so others may follow the same line of thinking. Tolerance and common cause means to bond together not by an idea, but as a society of action. We need to see things from the lens of one another. In order to achieve maximal potential we must have a common identity. Pragmatism means to stand against extremism, and to work together in order to find solutions. Through independent thinking and moral values we can be the best country in the world.

It is important to understand these principals. I believe these principals have validity to the common man, but they are only an ideological platform from which politicians use to build up support. In Principals of Politicians, I clearly explore the moral, ethical, and political values politicians are suppose to use. They are supposed to be representatives of the people, elected by the people, yet they do nothing for the people.

Principals of a Politician  

            Today’s definition of a politician is different from those of our fore fathers. Those men were building a nation based on the fundamental freedoms and ideas listed above. Today’s politician has no value in my opinion as they are mere political figures full of party ideologies with no will or care for the people. They are the unfortunate necessity of a political checks and balance system. To make matters worse, most of the laws, documents, policies, and spending have never been looked at by any of them, unless it has a direct affect on their political survival. This is not what this country was built on. It was built on things like honesty, integrity, and a strong central government for the people and by the people. The following is based on my own political theory of what needs to change in order to rebuild trust in the American politician.

Leadership is a central quality to have for a politician. He or she has been elected by the people, who believe politicians in positions of power will work for them. Politicians have some how made their way to this stage, and it is their duty to be a leader. The people want to be lead by someone they can trust, and who will do the right things to the best of their ability all the time. It’s the intrinsic qualities which separate those who say they are leaders, and those who are actually leaders.

Ethics based upon the fundamentals principals of this country, and it should be the foundation of a politician. Instead of empty words used within their corrupt culture, “we the people”, believe in a system which is fair to all men. There are rules of conduct which politicians should stay within. Not paying your taxes, cheating on your loved ones, the use of prostitutions and political power abuse are not within the standards of this country. Politicians have a responsibility to have morals, and they should always be able to distinguish between right and wrong. Should they be perfect? No, they are human, and they will make mistakes, but they should hold more responsibility for the way they conduct themselves every day, every hour, and every minute.

 They are Representatives of the people, so they should have the people’s best interest at heart. However, this has not been the case, and politicians continue to use words like, liberty, freedom, and change for their political platforms. They know people believe deeply in certain words and meanings, so why not use these terms for political survival?  Today’s politician is about political parties, political survival, political social networking and nothing to do with the people and their needs. How can Bills be passed when no one takes the time to read all of the ones that are to be voted on? Being a representative means you take the time and effort to support the needs of your constituents, understanding the issues.

A Trust Worthy politician no longer exists. The citizens of our country try and vote for the lesser of the evils. They know in their minds, their voice will never be heard, but in their hearts they want to believe in the greater cause.  There is no accountability in politics, and those in power can avoid trouble, in most cases, by selling their vote. Blackmailing, back stabbing, and lying are common unspoken words in politics. Why are there two standards? Why can politicians stay in office even though we can’t trust them? The “good ole boy” system is very much alive, even though we would like to think it does not exist. They are held to a high standard, and they are expected to live and work at an exceptional level.

            Being Devoted means to be loyal to the task. Politicians should be willing to risk their political careers to the people, if it reflects the people’s needs. Sometimes we have to step outside the comfort zone, push barriers, and do the right thing. Politicians need to be devoted to their job. Sometimes it means to take a deeper look within and ask tough questions. Am I doing all I can do? Can I do more, if so, how? How do people perceive me and why? By taking a step back for self evaluation means you are devoted enough to always improve yourself, listen to criticism, and be willing to change when needed.

Politicians should have a Strong Internal Motivation for service to their country and the people within its borders. They should strive each day to be the very best they can be. Politicians have gotten away from the privilege of being a politician, and they have moved towards the selfish internal side if motivation. Fame, prestige, and power are self serving ideologies, and those who use motivation to secure these should not be allowed to serve. However, there is no measurement to hold people accountable. Everyone’s perception is different and so are the things that motivate us. We have to keep perspective and focus on the things which are important. Politicians should do the same.

 Integrity means to have sound moral character, to be whole, and to live your life accordingly. Today’s politicians live a life no other citizens will understand. In many cases, there is no integrity, just survival. Like most big businesses, they have gotten away from what is important, the people. Instead, their own ideologies have taken the place of common sense. They need to take responsibility for their actions and inactions. They are human, mistakes will be made, but if they are living a life with integrity, more people will tend to believe were mistakes.

Why should a politician have Sustainability? The world we live in is uncertain from day to day. It is important that he or she is able to handle the situations they face. Good or bad, the way they conduct themselves is an important factor to consider. I will have to say most politicians have the ability to survive political fallout. However, sustainability is not always a good thing. Politicians should not put themselves in those positions.

 Global Thinking now, more than ever, is very important in the world we live in. The economy, capitalism, security, international relations, and creating a stronger infrastructure are issues which require someone who can think outside the box and globally. Even though we are the greatest country on earth, we need a politician who appreciates building these relationships to their greatest potential.


Today’s politician is concerned with self interest and survival, and it has to stop. The people of the United States are the most valuable resource because we keep the economy going, not the politician. It is my opinion, the principals of a politician I have outlined could make today’s politician stronger as we move forward. The days of the “good ole boy” system can no longer be tolerated. The people of the United States are tired of the same candidates and political correctness. We want something and someone different who is going to tell the truth, be brutally honest, and lead us from the front. This world is not the touchy feely world the majority of the population lives in. It is very complex, and the conflict and violence domestically and around the world is increasing. Above all, there is something bigger than the individual. Duty, honor, and respect should be the political foundation for the next generation.  What we have been doing the last 30 years has not been working.

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