As I sit in the kitchen looking out the window, I can see what is going on outside. I can see the neighbors barn, birds flying by, and some of the animals in the field. What I see is nothing more than what my eyesight can pick up. When I step outside, the world is different. The picture expands. I can see the animals socializing with each other, clouds floating by, and I can hear a variety of sounds in the air. It is easy to judge, without knowing. We should be open minded enough to understand or if we cannot, then be open minded enough to try to understand. Perception is not always reality.
People are the same way. Every person is biased in some manner, it is just a fact of life. However, we can be quick to judge one another without getting to know each other. I have said it before, every person could write a best-selling book about themselves because each person has a unique story to tell.
Relationships work the same way. It takes more time and effort to pick someone apart than to simply say thank you. Why are you having a bad day? What can we do to fix the situation? Take the time to see the other person on the inside. Understand why they feel the way they do and be respectful enough to listening actively. While many things are nothing more than misunderstandings, just taking the time to lend a hand and listen can resolve most issues. The reality of what we see is this is a good person, with a big heart, maybe they are just struggling, and they do not know how to fix it.
I did not work full time last month at all. I could have but I thought I was doing the right thing for my wife. Instead of talking about it early on or planning better, I tried to tackle the problem alone. It does not work like that. My wife put the hammer down on me (continues to do so) because it took money away from other things, and she had to pay a few extra bills. Looking back, I should have asked for her help. After all, she is my best friend, but being a man, thinking I had to fix everything alone, I failed miserably. It bothers me a lot because I failed her. I did not mean too. I was not being lazy, I was trying to do the right thing, but I went at it the wrong way.
In the end, discuss issues, you are a team, the reality of what we see through a closed door or just looking at someone is not always reality.