My wife and I have been through a lot emotionally these last few years. We have tried to have a child for the last 15 plus months. Life throws you in every direction. You may not always understand or agree with what is going on, but there is usually a reason why things happen. We have had several chemical pregnancies, and for whatever reason we lost them. We were trying everything possible. We felt hopeless at times, and it was especially tough when we see/know so many other people that were pregnant.
The next step we took was to see a fertility center. That was a long process as well. All the testing always came back positive for the both of us, which to be honest, really made it difficult. It is easy to place blame on your spouse. DO NOT DO IT. It is so hard on the both of you that you tend to look for any excuse as to why you cannot get pregnant. After more blood tests, and examinations, it was determined my beautiful wife needed to have surgery to attempt to open her fallopian tubes. The doctor told us it appeared one side was partially blocked, and the other was completely blocked. The chances of the surgery fixing things was minimal. However, we were hopeful. My wife is as tough as they come. She was a war fighter (literally), combat medic, and even this caused her many sleepless nights. The surgery took about 10 minutes. When they got in there, they did not see what they thought they were going to see. Instead, she had diverticula, which are small sac like structures at the end of each tube. In the end, they flushed her out, and they advised us we should look at IVF or IUI.
The next week, we agreed to get a loan. In total, it cost about eighteen thousand dollars. We got a loan for thirteen thousand, and we would have to pay out of pocket for the rest. We agreed that if we did not try, we would look back and regret it. A couple of days before we signed the final papers for the loan, we got another positive test. We could not get to happy of course because it had happened so many times before, but we were both hopeful. Usually by day 5, she would start another cycle. Each time it was devastating. This time days, 6, 7, 8, 9 came and gone without event. We were so happy that finally this could be real thing. Was it possible that all she needed was to have those tubes flushed? Actually……………. Yes. We called UNC fertility and they had blood tests done immediately. They came back positive! We were so happy. As paramedic’s we knew the first trimester was the most delicate. I have to admit, this pregnancy has shown me how much I never knew about the development of an embryo to a fetus or the entire process in general.
My wife is 37, and I am 47. However, this in the fertility world means we are of advanced age. How dare they call me old! I think my wife describes the rest of the process better than I can so these are her words.
“Pregnancy is supposed to be one of the happiest things a woman can experience. Finding out you are expecting, hearing the heartbeat, seeing what you have created on the ultrasound moving around…
Well, this little boy has been different. This pregnancy has been plagued by anxiety, fear, tears, and a lot of prayers.
I was introduced to the medical term Subchorionic Hemorrage. A SCH is when blood accumulates next to and even under the placenta. This can cause the placenta to displace and the loss of the fetus. It increases the chance of miscarriage and also causes the membranes around the amniotic sac to weaken causing preterm labor. It happens to only 1% of all women.
See everyone, God has decided to bless us with twins. As I was adjusting to the thought of being a new mom again, I was also adjusting to the thought of having twins. Then I got home from work and started losing a lot of blood and clots. I thought for sure I lost my boys. After the tears, and panic I found out that we did lose one, but the other was still fighting. The one we lost had a complete placental abruption. They did not share a placenta so my hope was that not all the blood accumulating around the viable baby was enough to cause his placenta to tear either. We were given a 70% chance of losing him too. My son and I have made it 14 weeks (actually 16 weeks tomorrow as of this writing).
Here we are. We made it to the second trimester and after all the fear and not wanting to say anything, I have decided this little man needs to be celebrated and loved by all the people that we love. Not a day goes by that I do not worry whether or not I will lose him.
The definition of a plot twist is a radical change in the direction or expected outcome of the plot in a work of fiction. When it happens near the end of a story, it is known as a twist or surprise ending.
My son has proved to be my biggest plot twist and I pray we get to meet him September 25th.”
This is my first child. I am excited, proud, and anxious. I have to admit the first time I saw that little heart beating I was like, we created that! The next time he was kicking around, and it brought tears to my eyes. Being a Dad and husband comes with a lot of responsibility. I live each day for them, and try to the best role model I can me. It is not about being selfish. It is about making sure my family is taken care of to the best of my ability. Moreover, it is about my wife knowing how much I love her, cherish her, and believe in her. After all, she is the one growing a human being in her body. I love my life, but it took a very long time for me to change. I am proud of who I am today, and I cannot wait to celebrate the birth of our son and be the best father I can be.