Marriage

I have been on sabbatical for some time now, and I thought this would be a great way to get back into things. 2018 will be a year when I am more consistent in my writing on the blog, and I will share some of my experiences while incorporating real world issues involving conflict. Since conflict is in everything we do, this coming year will bring a wide variety of topics.

That being said…. since my last post, I got married. This is my second marriage, but we went all out, as she deserved nothing less than the best. It was a perfect day in December. We even hoped it would snow when we were planning the wedding, and sure enough, it poured Friday and Saturday. Midafternoon Saturday, the skies opened, and it was blue skies the rest of the day. It was a perfect storm of Christmas, chaos, and wedding vows. Chaos? Why chaos, it is a wedding?! Well, the photographer cancelled, the Reverend cancelled rehearsal, then wanted a room the next night, and the DJ wanted to cancel as well, all due to weather. It all fell into place. The celebration lasted for hours. Dancing, drinking, laughing, and celebrating. In the end, our friends took pictures, we have well over 700, and I married my best friend.

The ceremony was beautiful. I have never seen a woman as beautiful as she was when she came down the aisle. She melted my heart. Just when I didn’t think she could ever be more perfect, I was wrong. Standing in front of her, with family and friends watching, I couldn’t help but keep telling her just how hot she looked. Christmas tree directly in front of us, while everyone sat in a semi-circle behind us, with snow in the background on the ground and mountain tops. I was in heaven. We couldn’t have planned a better day.

I chose this topic because I was thinking about my vows. I am finally doing things in my life the right way, every day. I always strive to be better than the day before, and there is one thing I will never do, and that is fail her. She loved me enough to marry me. With that comes a huge responsibility. There are on average 800,000 divorces a year. That is astonishing. We talked about the wedding and what it meant to each of us. During our talk, I made it a point to tell her, I will not fail her or the kids. It is something I take very seriously. People are so eager to give up, and they do not fight for the things that are worth fighting for in life. They forget why they fell in love in the first place. Stef taught me the meaning of family, and the meaning of being devoted to one another for the rest of our lives. We are better together.

People can change for the greater good, as I am living proof of it. She is the single most important person in my life. I live for her, not for myself.

I now live with three women, and I deal constantly with the pre-teen drama that unfolds at the adult age of 11 and 12 years old. Yes, I said adult, because they are 11 and 12 going on 21! They know everything about everything. I must admit I love them very much, and they have shown me how to be patient, to think outside the box, be quick on my feet in my response, while trying not to laugh at the most inappropriate time. I look forward to watching them grow up and become young adults. They have softened and won the heart of this man, though I would not tell them for fear of repercussion.

In the end, marriage is great thing. I will make it my life’s work to study her, grow with her, and learn about her as we grow older. Hopefully, we will have an addition to our family soon. A classmate of mine gave me three pieces of advice for a long lasting marriage:

1.     She is always right

2.     She is always right

3.     Even when you think you are right, she is always right

 Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Be safe.

 

 

 

 

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About PhDMedic

I have a Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis & Resolution, with a concentration in International Peace and Conflict, and I am a National Registry Paramedic with 28 years in emergency services. View all posts by PhDMedic

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