When Your Spouse is having a Bad Day

There are those days that no matter what you do, you are going to be wrong. Let’s be honest, we all have had a bad day. You wake up grumpy and fussy, and no matter how well intended the actions of your spouse may be, you get more agitated. To make matters worse, we take them extremely personal, and it makes things even worse. It could be hormonal, insecurity, or just having a generally bad day.

 

Relationships are partnerships. You are committed to one another. You do not threaten one another, call names, or put each other down. Instead, you become the rock the other person needs. The most successful relationships have several common factors. Marissa Laliberte, author of 11 Signs You Can Trust Your Partner, believes you should be open and vulnerable. When you or your spouse are having a bad day, you just need to sit back and listen to them vent. No matter the topic, just listen. It seems as though active listening is a lost art form, and more couples are willing to give in and throw away their relationships.

 

Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher and author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference, believes being able to be honest and open about your feelings is one of the biggest signs you can trust one another. When a person is allowed to express their feelings and concerns without judgement and without being put down, it brings you closer as a couple. “Openness and vulnerability in conversation—their willingness to really open up their heart and share what they’re really thinking, even if it puts them at risk for ridicule and being criticized for you—that is a scary thing in a lot of relationships.” “There’s trust if they’re willing to talk about things, give you details, sometimes share additional details, and have no hesitations,” says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, co-author of Snap Strategies for Couples: 40 Fast Fixes for Everyday Relationship Pitfalls. Go out of your way to put them at ease because it shows you care enough about them to put them first. They are a priority to you, and it is a significant show of intimacy.

 

If it hormonal………………………. GOOD LUCK! Nothing, and I mean nothing you do is going to be right. Just suck it up, and go above and beyond. Just say yes dear, I love you, how can I make your day better.

 

Study your spouse every day. Learn what their expectations are, and what makes them happy and sad. Be careful how you articulate things. Admit when you are wrong. If you make a mistake, big or small, just admit to it. It shows you are responsible. Furthermore, it shows you are not afraid to let the other person in, and it goes a long way to show you are not lying and hiding things.

 

If insecurity is a reason, then you have to work together and really take the extra step and let them know how much you love them. When you are driving or when you are not able to check your phone, ask your significant other to answer it, or check to see if there are any messages. It goes to show they can trust you because you have nothing to hide. You could switch phones for a week or two. It will go a long way to develop trust.

 

In the end, just be sympathetic. When we have a bad day, we say things we really do not mean. No need to take it personal, just make sure you apologize, and tell them how much you love them. Just ride it out, and remember tomorrow is a new day. There are no excuses, so take responsibility for your actions. Do something sweet and romantic for them to show them you care. Run a bath, fix dinner, candles, soft music, leave little notes or flowers. It is the little things that mean the most.

Advertisements

About PhDMedic

I have a Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis & Resolution, with a concentration in International Peace and Conflict, and I am a National Registry Paramedic with 28 years in emergency services. View all posts by PhDMedic

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: