My heart is heavy today. As I write this, I am actually working. I had an early Christmas yesterday, and it was filled with love, joy, happiness, and most importantly family. I could not have asked for a better day. At the age of 45, I am becoming soft. I always use to pride myself on being emotionless. Do not get me wrong, I still am when I do my job, but my private life has taken me down a road I never expected. I would not change anything because things happen for a reason. They make us stronger, see things from a different perspective, open our minds and hearts to other aspects of life, and they teach us something new about ourselves.
I am not sure if it comes with age, or because life tends to send us down a road to see how we will handle it. My dad once told me that it is natural to feel insecure at some point to something we are not use too or that makes us uncomfortable in the beginning. Instead, head down that road, adjust, and in the end you will be a better person for it. No matter how hard we want to plan our lives, it never works out like we want it too, especially if loved ones are involved. In the case of my family, I would not change it for one minute.
There is one lesson I have learned this year, and it is I can no longer be selfish. Instead, I must be selfless. I put my family before everything else. The memories I have been creating are irreplaceable. I love my family to their core, and I would never betray them. In every action, I am always looking to make them proud of me. They are my rock, the rainbow when the day has been gray, and they provide encouragement when I am having doubts. Thank you for being the best gift I have ever been given.