When too much pride gets in our way……

I will be the first to admit I am not perfect. I am stubborn, set in my ways, have a low tolerance for stupidity, dislike people with a lack of common sense, and liars. I try to live my life with dignity, and display a moral and ethical behavior I could look back on and feel good about when I die. However, I have let my pride get in my way of admitting when I am wrong or when I refuse to be challenged on a particular issue. How many times have you had a “discussion” with your significant other, co-worker, or boss, and you refused to give in, knowing there was a possibility you were in the wrong.

What is pride? I found a great definition from a Hofstra University student who was a key member of student engagement in and out of the classroom during their college career.

P-personal and social responsibility Take control and responsibility for your actions, and work daily on personal development.

R-respect for others and self-discipline- You should have emotional stability, treat others with mutual respect, and live a healthy lifestyle.

I-integrity, ethics, & leadership- Display a high level of integrity in your life, work to improve the world around you, and develop personal leadership skills.

D-diversity and community- Engage the community, understand the cultural diversity of the population, and demonstrates the knowledge, skills, and abilities to engage with the ever-increasing world we live in.

E-expression and free exchange- Always be open to dialogue and free expression, remain open-minded, and strive to improve your critical and integrative thinking skills.

In contrast, most people know the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary definition: “a feeling that you respect yourself and deserve to be respected by other people,

a feeling that you are more important or better than other people, a feeling of happiness that you get when you or someone you know does something good, difficult, etc.”

Regardless of your definition, we do let our emotions get the best of us from time to time, and some of us refuse to admit when we are wrong. Being stubborn is not an excuse. Each person has the responsibility to treat one another with respect. Pride in self is one thing, but pride in refusing to admit your wrong is something different. In an article titled, “Pride-A destroyer and killer,” the author outlines several problems associated with the subject. These include: the inability to progress, suffering in silence, being unrepentant, and failure in relationships.

When there is too much pride in oneself, it prevents them from listening to suggestions from subordinates, people who are younger, or from different social classes. This type of person is hardly a good leader since they cannot take suggestions, or give credit to those who deserve it. Too much pride in yourself prevents you from expressing your feelings to others, thus, you will always suffer in silence because you prevent those around you from ever knowing who you really are as a person. Your inability to communicate will leave you all alone. Additionally, pride can leave you unrepentant. The inability to admit when you are wrong or that you have made a mistake is not only selfish, it is casts you as someone who thinks they know everything. Finally, too much pride can destroy a relationship. You have to be able to communicate effectively in order to grow as a couple. Pride never wins the heart of anyone, and it shows a complete lack of respect for the person you supposedly care so much about as a partner.

What is the solution? Don’t let pride define you as a person. You should live by a code that embodies your morals and ethics. It is one thing to stand up for the things you believe in or be prideful for an accomplishment, but it is completely different to brag and think you are the only person that has all the answers. There is something to be said about humility. I am a very prideful person, I believe deeply in this country and what it stands for as an American, and I live my life based on morals. However, if I am wrong I will be the first to admit to it.  I have made many of the mistakes discussed in this article, and I can assure you the only thing you gain by being too prideful is loneliness and emptiness.

About PhDMedic

I have a Ph.D. in Conflict Analysis & Resolution, with a concentration in International Peace and Conflict, and I am a National Registry Paramedic with 30 years in emergency services as a provider and educator. View all posts by PhDMedic

7 responses to “When too much pride gets in our way……

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